Mental health
fromPsychology Today
17 hours agoWhen Dependence Is Not the Problem
Dependence can reflect care and connection, but therapy may treat it as something to outgrow, reinforcing fear of abandonment.
#family-dynamics
#family-dynamics
[ follow ]
fromVulture
2 days agoRooster Season-Finale Recap: A Christmas Story
Despite all evidence to the contrary, the love triangle was resolved by the end of the season! We have a freshly single Katie, a furious Sunny, a contrite Archie, and a brand-new antagonist for season two. This was a relatively low-key but incredibly sweet finale that hit all the pleasure centers a good comedy finale should hit. There was comeuppance, a celebration, lots of touching moments, and a delicious cliffhanger that makes us want so much more.
Television
fromRoger Ebert
1 week agoShort Films in Focus: Sound and Color (with Director Emma Foley)
No one, including her, knows quite what to say, but everyone (including her parents and two brothers) tries their best to put on a brave and polite face. It is her mother, Gill (Charlotte Bradley), who keeps asking questions and commenting on how pale Hannah looks now that she's a vegetarian.
Film
#communication
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPeople who can sit through a long pause in conversation without rushing to fill it aren't always socially confident, some grew up around adults whose silences were dangerous and learned, for their own safety, that filling them only made things worse - Silicon Canals
Comfort with silence can reflect either confidence or a learned survival strategy in tense, unpredictable environments.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPeople who can sit through a long pause in conversation without rushing to fill it aren't always socially confident, some grew up around adults whose silences were dangerous and learned, for their own safety, that filling them only made things worse - Silicon Canals
Comfort with silence can reflect either confidence or a learned survival strategy in tense, unpredictable environments.
#emotional-labor
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoPeople who keep volunteering for airport runs, takeout pickups, and holiday logistics aren't always just generous, sometimes being useful is the only role that lets them feel like they aren't imposing - Silicon Canals
Logistical helpfulness can be love, but for some it functions as a transaction that makes presence feel earned through usefulness.
#parenting
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
1 week agoMy In-Laws Watched Our Kids While We Were Away. What They Let Them Do at the Beach Was a Breach of Our Trust.
In-laws took kids parasailing without permission, causing conflict between parents over safety and judgment.
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
1 week agoMy Kid Is Now Banned From All Family Functions Until Further Notice. He Doesn't Deserve This!
Family members overreacted by banning a 5-year-old from events after an accident at a wedding.
fromwww.theguardian.com
1 week agoThis Is a Bomb: The Nevada Casino Heist review the dark, deadly tale of a $3m extortion scheme
On August 26, 1980, a huge metal box was delivered to Harvey's Wagon Wheel casino, disguised as an IBM photocopier. An X-ray confirmed that the complex explosive inside contained 1,000lb of dynamite.
Poker
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoI'm 38 and I noticed last summer that my parents only ask about logistics - the drive, the weather, the dogs, the job - and never about how I actually am, and I realized I'd been answering questions about the surface of my life for so long I'd forgotten what it felt like to be asked about anything underneath - Silicon Canals
Parents often express love through logistical support rather than emotional inquiry, leading to feelings of neglect in their children's emotional needs.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoThere's a certain type of boomer who treats unsolicited opinions as a love language - about your weight, your job, your spouse, your house, your parenting - and is genuinely confused when their adult children seem distant, because in their generation criticism was care, and nobody has told them clearly that the rules of love changed about thirty years ago. - Silicon Canals
Different generations have contrasting views on love, with older generations often equating criticism with care and concern.
#divorce
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 week agoA Preteen Trapped in the Crossfire Between Separated Parents
Divorce conversations should focus on understanding and empathy rather than blame.
#loneliness
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoThe loneliest moment in adult life isn't being alone in a quiet house, it's sitting in a room full of people who have known you for decades and somehow stopped seeing you, and the weight of that loneliness is heavier than any solitary one - Silicon Canals
Loneliness often stems from a lack of recognition rather than absence of people or connections.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoResearch suggests people who feel lonely in their own families aren't difficult or ungrateful. They're often the ones who changed in ways their family never updated their image to match, and now they're being loved as someone they no longer are - Silicon Canals
Family love can create loneliness when it is directed at an outdated version of a person, leading to a disconnect between identity and perception.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoI stopped offering my opinion in family group chats six months ago, no commentary, no reactions, no jumping in to smooth things over, just to see who would notice my absence, and the silence taught me something I had been working hard not to know for about twenty years - Silicon Canals
Silence in family dynamics reveals the overlooked role of the peacekeeper, highlighting how absence is often unnoticed.
fromwww.theguardian.com
1 week agoThe air resounds with a Babel's Tower of languages': why I wrote a novel based in Victoria Square, Athens
The 1960s saw Plateia Viktorias as a fashionable neighborhood, bustling with the finest restaurants and shops, but it has since faced significant decline and transformation.
Writing
fromSlate Magazine
1 week agoMy In-Laws Are Very Generous With Their Money. But It Comes With a Suspicious Stipulation.
Secrecy surrounding financial arrangements can create a sense of unease, especially when it comes to estate planning. The lack of documentation and vague instructions can lead to confusion and distrust among family members.
Relationships
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoThe definitive sign someone has finally stopped performing for their family isn't distance, it's the calm with which they let a holiday pass without trying to fix the silence - Silicon Canals
Real disengagement from family is marked by silence during holidays, not distance or absence.
#mental-health
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoThe hardest thing about healing isn't the work itself. It's the quiet grief of realizing how many years you spent believing the problem was you, when the actual problem was an environment that needed you to believe that in order to keep functioning - Silicon Canals
Family systems may require a child to remain unwell for their own functionality, leading to grief and loss when the child realizes their true self.
fromwww.theguardian.com
2 weeks agoI picked up the bottle of Jacob's Creek and drank straight out of it. I was seven': John Robins on being an alcoholic
I remember noticing them drinking. I remember seeing that it changed them. Not because they were drunk (they weren't), but because they were at ease, happy, giggling maybe, smiling.
Wine
#sibling-relationships
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoA clinical psychologist explains that the adult children who check on their aging parents most often aren't the favorites - they're usually the ones still hoping for a conversation they stopped expecting years ago - Silicon Canals
The favored child often receives love, while the other sibling seeks recognition and validation through ongoing efforts and communication.
fromPsychology Today
3 weeks agoDuty vs. Selfhood: Family Dynamics in the South Asian Diaspora
Kalpana recalls the emotional abuse her mother endured and how she and her brother absorbed the fallout. These early experiences shaped her sense of safety and belonging in ways that lingered in her adulthood.
Relationships
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoPsychology suggests there's a certain type of anger that lives inside the most agreeable people - it's the anger of swallowing every small injustice, every dismissive comment, every overlooked contribution for decades, and the reason the calmest person in your family might one day explode over something trivial isn't the trivial thing, it's the fifty years of larger things they never allowed themselves to react to - Silicon Canals
Agreeableness can lead to emotional accumulation, resulting in explosive reactions over seemingly trivial matters due to suppressed feelings.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoI'm 66 and my adult son called me last Sunday just to ask how I was - no favor, no crisis, no reason - and I didn't know how to have that conversation because I couldn't remember the last time anyone asked just to check, and I was so unprepared I turned the conversation back to him within two minutes because being asked about myself had apparently become something I don't know how to receive anymore - Silicon Canals
Men often struggle to express their feelings due to societal conditioning, leading to a sense of invisibility in their personal lives.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoI'm 66 and I grew up in a house where my father worked sixty-hour weeks and never once told me he was proud of me - and I did the exact same thing to my sons before I realized the silence wasn't strength, it was a pattern I'd inherited like the color of my eyes - Silicon Canals
Emotional expression in father-son relationships can be deeply affected by generational patterns of communication.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoThere's a specific kind of tiredness that belongs to people who are the default contact for every family emergency. It isn't the emergencies themselves. It's the low-grade readiness that never switches off, the phone always near, the nervous system perpetually on call for a shift that never formally ends - Silicon Canals
Being an emergency contact involves a constant state of anticipation and stress that affects overall well-being, not just during crises.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoThe people who seem to have endless patience with difficult family members aren't necessarily more forgiving. Many of them long ago concluded that the emotional cost of asking for change was higher than the cost of absorbing the behavior, and they've been paying the cheaper price for so long they forgot there was ever a choice. - Silicon Canals
Conflict avoidance is often mistaken for patience, but it can lead to relationship breakdown and is linked to anxiety and attachment insecurity.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoPsychology says the hardest part of watching your parents age isn't the physical decline - it's the moment you realize they've started performing competence the same way you performed adulthood when you were younger - Silicon Canals
Older adults often use compensation strategies to adapt to cognitive decline, employing rehearsed behaviors to maintain normalcy in conversations.
[ Load more ]