#family-dynamics

#family-dynamics

Throughout my engagement, people joked about how I'd lucked out in the mother-in-law department because my husband's mother was extremely chill and not obsessed with the idea of grandkids. My husband and I are dedicated to being child-free (he got the snip in college), and it was a relief to us both that his mother was fine with that. I never expected that the problem would be with my (younger) sisters-in-law!

As a wealth advisor, I've noticed that my clients often have two reactions to meetings with me. They come out relieved, and even say "That felt like therapy." Or, they emerge worried that they shared too much. Money is really hard to talk about. So is death. It's no wonder that planning for inheritance is fraught for many families. That's why I decided to become a certified financial therapist in addition to a wealth advisor.

I love my parents, but since they retired three years ago, it is as though their brains have drained out of their ears. I am not talking about their opinions on politics, but just basic common sense. I saw my parents actually ask grocery workers putting out fresh fried chicken if the birds were from last night, and get offended when told no and that it would be a health

After more than 30 years together, my now-ex told me he had a longstanding interest in another woman. He claimed he'd never cheated, but wanted my blessing to pursue her and stay married to me. He said I couldn't handle being single in my 50s. Well, I filed for divorce, and he pushed back. Our divorce was emotionally horrible, but I'm luckier than I could be. I'm a teacher, so I'm not rich, but I'll have a pension and health coverage.

Turned out his aunt was his actual birth mother, who had kids with his father too before he was born, but who had passed away in a house fire. The mother who raised him was completely sterile and, in fact, had a hysterectomy at a very young age. He was in complete shock, but said it made sense how close everyone was in the house, despite keeping all the adult stuff behind closed doors.

Let's get this out of the way: I'm not a mom. I've never been pregnant. I've never given birth. So no, I don't have any firsthand stories. But I'm the youngest of four daughters - and I've heard plenty. And honestly, our mom ruined us. She loved being pregnant. She raved about her glowing skin, thick hair, and strong nails.

1. What would you change, if anything, about our experience growing up? 2. What do you admire most about Mom and/or Dad? 3. In what ways did Mom or Dad let you down? 4. What's something you wish you could have told me when we were kids? Why didn't you tell me then? 5. How could I have been a better sibling to you when we were growing up? 6. What's your favorite childhood memory of us?

On more than one occasion, I have watched my mother regale the room with a truly awful story involving a family cat and its botched pregnancy. I won't belabor the details-trust me, you don't want to hear them—but, basically, when I was young, a cat we owned that had been previously spayed somehow became fecund with a litter of kittens. This required veterinary intervention, since the

I have three daughters, and while I assumed most eldest daughters of the family are bred that way by Type-A moms, it seems my own eldest daughter - who is most definitely not being raised by a Type-A mom - has already taken on some of the classic characteristics. Like when she sees me attempting a DIY project and asks for my phone so she can prepare to dial 911.

Your mom just misses you and is dealing with her raw feelings. Tell her you miss her but you are working hard to build your life. Let her know you need her support more than her criticism. She raised you to be an independent person, and that's who you are becoming. Ask her to stop berating you. In turn, promise to call her more and visit whenever you can.

My in-laws are obscenely cheap and often keep food that has expired well beyond the "best by" date. I wouldn't care about this, except my kids go over there after school, and I never know how fresh the food they are being served is. We rely heavily on my in-laws to watch our kids during the school year while we are at work.

For some men, anger is the emotion they are most familiar with. Ask one of these men how he feels and you are likely to get a puzzled expression, unless, of course, he is angry, in which case he is often quite clear about how he feels. Some families have adapted strategies over the years to either avoid or manage men's unacknowledged anger.

A good crime show should feel like the toxic, luxurious relief of a well-earned cigarette break. "God, I needed this," you sigh as you swill a nice, cold drink with your one hand while you exhale a nice cloud of smoke. Luckily, that's precisely how "Family Statements" feels, a solid-world building effort by Brad Ingelsby that's primarily interested in driving the plot forward. A truly expert crime serial knows how to build atmosphere, dangle new clues, and complicate our detective's troubled family life.

My 77-year-old mother wanted sympathy, the kind Mark believed was for the weak: offers of a cup of a tea, a hug. Long ago, decades even, she had learned not to seek it from him. With him, she was a trooper. At 62 she had retired and followed him up to a high desert mountain, 6,500ft (1,981 metres) in north-east California.

My dad can come in a room and be mad about something, but it doesn't change the dynamic or energy of the room. We don't internalize his feels. His feelings don't set the mood for of the room.

When (my children) were in middle school, they did say, 'Um, hey, can you, like, not talk about us? Because our friends, you know, their parents let them see things that you do and then, you know, they joke on us.'

Far from the Tree, Andrew Solomon's brilliant nonfiction book about parenting children different from oneself, offers the useful distinction between vertical and horizontal identities. Vertical identities are inherited a family name, an ethnicity, or a nationality; horizontal identities are qualities that define us which parents may have nothing to do with, such as the kinship people with autism feel with one another, or being gay or deaf.

"A Family in Disguise starts with a situation where the transparent people, who just want to hide, have no choice but to greet their guests. The figures try to look ordinary, like any other happy family. They decorate, wear gorgeous clothes and stand side by side to greet the guests. At first glance, it seems like a lovely family but you cannot avoid feeling the somber atmosphere."

Charles says he instantly felt a bond when I demanded to sit on his lap as a toddler. All I know is that he has been the only man my mother has brought home (besides my father) that I've liked and accepted. While there was no initial plan to stay in my life, life (as we know all too well) had other plans.

Mother-in-law disputes are nothing new; generations of daughters-in-law have wondered what on earth they did to deserve the MIL they got (whether that's good or bad). But now, there's a new system for figuring out exactly what type of behavior your mother-in-law is displaying - and how you can cope. In her forthcoming book You, Your Husband & His Mother, psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish lays out six different types of mother-in-law, what each one wants, how she acts, and what you can do in response.

Robert Adelson said he considered the arrests "big news" but his mother did not bring it up during the phone call. He finally broached the topic, according to the Tallahassee Democrat's coverage. "I said it at least two or three times-that they made an arrest, they got the guy who killed Danny," Robert Adelson testified. "And her response was, 'I've got to go.'"

Every family has its labels. There's the "responsible one," the "troublemaker," the "baby," the " shy one." These roles aren't always written down, but they get handed out and reinforced in countless small ways: the jokes at family dinners, the stories told at holiday gatherings, the nicknames that stick long after they're funny. In my family, I was the "koala bear." Not because I loved animals, but because I clung to my mom-literally.

Every week in my psychology practice, I meet people from around the world who share stories marked by loss, hope, fear, love, displacement, and resilience. Listening to them has deepened my understanding of how culture and tradition influence identity, relationships, and a sense of belonging. Yet I also see how these very foundations can be used to justify war, leaving individuals and families caught in an impossible dilemma: whether to uphold

But you'd think someone would have sent two-time Emmy nominee Meghann Fahy - the magnetic star of Netflix's delicious "Sirens," from showrunner and playwright Molly Smith Metzler - an Edible Arrangement by now. "I actually haven't gotten one of those yet, which is fine by me, because, girl, I dragged that thing around for what felt like weeks," the actress recently told IndieWire.

I'm mom to an 18-year-old son, Jackson, who may be non-speaking but, like many teens, never fails to let me know exactly what's on his mind. I'm also a college professor, teaching digital journalism at Florida A&M University, where my "babies" know they can come to my office for a joke, advice, a good cry, or just some candy for an afternoon sugar rush.