Coping With Narcissistic Relatives at the Holidays

"If you have a narcissistic family member, you know how quickly they can derail the holidays. Perhaps it's a criticism of Sally's new boyfriend, a meltdown over the dessert selection, or an offensive joke that shifts the mood in the whole room. And without realizing it, you slip back into old survival habits like over-explaining, smoothing things over, or people-pleasing to avoid becoming the next target. This is just one of the ways a narcissist can ruin holiday gatherings."

"People with narcissistic traits often struggle during the holidays because they expect attention, admiration, and special treatment. When they don't get it, they react negatively, perhaps by starting arguments, putting others down, or stirring up drama because they need the focus back on them. You end up changing your behavior to accommodate them because you don't want them to ruin the holidays."

"Narcissism is rooted in a fragile sense of self that depends on constant validation. Underneath their entitlement is deep insecurity, and holidays intensify it because people are naturally focused on holiday-related activities and traditions, or they're busy and simply not as available to feed their egos. People with narcissism don't tolerate feeling ignored, inconvenienced, or emotionally uncomfortable, and they often have little empathy for how their behavior affects others."

Narcissistic family members often expect attention, admiration, and special treatment, and they react negatively when those needs are not met. Holidays intensify narcissistic insecurity because routines, traditions, and busy schedules reduce available validation. Narcissistic relatives may start arguments, belittle others, or create chaos to regain focus and control, and they commonly show little empathy for the impact of their actions. Family members frequently adopt survival behaviors such as over-explaining, smoothing over, or people-pleasing to avoid escalation. Setting clear boundaries, practicing self-care, limiting engagement with provocations, and prioritizing emotional safety can help preserve calm and holiday enjoyment.

Read at Psychology Today