#boundaries

#boundaries

A different model exists in its place where women date without losing themselves. Decentering men isn't about hating them. It's about not organizing your life around their approval, attention, or validation. You can still date men, enjoy intimacy, and build meaningful relationships without sacrificing your identity in the process. Think of it as a mindshift, rather than a membership in the 4B movement.

First off, you don't have to just accept it. Though the method you describe worked, in general, much as it did for ancient Greece's Lysistrata, it's not a perfect tool for negotiation (as that title character in Aristophanes' play would attest). What you're looking for is respect and an equal footing in your partnership. That's something that you deserve. Every relationship, marriages included, is reliant on communication. Communication patterns and strategies vary person to person and relationship to relationship.

That same night, he texted me and asked if he could see me again at the end of the week. He sent a restaurant and a time and asked if that was OK with my taste and schedule. I agreed. Over the next few days, he texted and called me, and we had good conversations. It all felt so intentional.

You could tell your girlfriend what you think about her reactions and ask her to change them, but I have a better, more efficient idea: Change your own response to her meltdowns. You mention a couple of times in this letter what you're "having to" do to accommodate the emotional spirals, and that's the part I think we should examine. It's what you're doing, but is it actually required?

Boundaries have become part of our social understanding in recent years-the importance of setting boundaries has been the focus of many social media posts, books, podcasts, and blog posts right here on Psychology Today. And of course, boundaries are important-they delineate the separation between what is us and what is ours to manage and what belongs to someone else and is theirs to manage. As Prentis Hemphill said, "Boundaries are the distance I can love you and me simultaneously." Boundaries keep us safe.

People who prefer texting over phone calls aren't broken or antisocial. In fact, they often possess unique strengths that phone-lovers might actually envy. I discovered this firsthand during my freelancing stint after getting laid off. Without the constant barrage of office calls and impromptu meetings, I found myself gravitating toward written communication. And something interesting happened: my work got better, my relationships became more intentional, and my anxiety levels dropped significantly.

How often do you make jokes that offend your wife? If this happens a lot, I'd apologize for the whole pattern and let her know in very direct language that you want to work on it. If this is a one-time issue, consider whether you've clearly apologized. Ideally, an apology contains a direct acknowledgement of what you did, an accurate description of how that hurt the other person, and some fairly feasible statement of what you're doing to prevent recurrence of the same issue.

I had gotten along fine with my son until this moment nine years ago. Since then, he won't speak to me or return my texts, letters or phone calls and I haven't seen him. If I call him and he answers, he hangs up as soon as he hears my voice. I have no idea where he lives now (he's out of the Marines) or what his life situation is.

Love is supposed to feel safe, right? I remember sitting across from my therapist three years ago, trying to explain why I stayed in a relationship where I constantly walked on eggshells. "But they love me," I kept saying, as if that justified everything. That session changed how I understood love forever. After my four-year relationship ended in my mid-twenties, I dove deep into understanding attachment styles and relationship psychology. What I discovered was eye-opening: Genuine love has boundaries.

To a large extent, research agrees that open, honest communication predicts higher relationship satisfaction, deeper trust between partners, and longevity of their shared bond. However, he says, there's nuance within that. A truth that might startle most couples is that more communication is not always better communication. He explains that discovering this doesn't mean now resorting to playing games or withholding feelings: Instead, they should try to focus on learning the difference between healthy expression and over-processing.

True love is not transactional. If we only love on the expectation of being loved back, then it is not love, it is bartering. Love is unconditional. I love you, and that is all and everything. You do not need to do anything. You do not need to reciprocate. You do not even need to know.

It perplexes Miss Manners how many people adore Les Miserables without being upset by its central accusation: that it is the rankest hypocrisy for society to equate serving one's time with forgiveness. But even if society were genuinely forgiving, there are many types of serious crimes. Being forgiven by society and being forgiven by one's victims are different matters. It is a simple matter to preserve your dignity with former victims of your husband's crime who now wish to maintain their distance: Respect that wish.

We had been talking about his most recent visit with his mother, one he had begun with cautious optimism, hoping that if he explained himself just a little more clearly this time, she might finally understand how her comments affect him. Instead, the interaction followed a familiar pattern. She minimized his feelings, and immediately redirected the conversation to her own stress. When he tried to point this out, she ended by accusing him of being "too sensitive. Must be from your father's side."

Managing your relationship with an unreliable or uncooperative co-parent can be very challenging, especially if you worry about your children spending time with them. I have worked with hundreds of women navigating divorce and want to reassure you that there is a lot of research supporting the fact that one healthy parent can outweigh the impact of an unhealthy parent. If you feel there are true safety concerns (this does not include less nutritious snacks or a later bedtime), it is important that you consult your legal team about options. Speaking with a child therapist or checking in with your child's pediatrician are other helpful avenues. If you don't have safety concerns but your relationship with your co-parent is strained, or you're worried about their parenting style, here are six things that can help.

"Sara" is a close friend who suffers from significant mental health challenges. She is often sullen, easily offended, and quick to anger. Recently, she had a severe meltdown (which was never discussed), cut me off completely, and didn't speak to me for months. We patched that one up somehow, but her behavior is frequently challenging to the point where I question whether our friendship is worth it.

I didn't know him as he was growing up; I learned about him when he was already 18, and since then we've stayed in touch through visits, calls and texts. When his mother passed away, he asked to move in with me. My wife and daughters supported the decision, and he's been living with us for about a year now. He's 25, has a steady job and is even considering school, which I'm proud of. At home, however, he's become demanding and dismissive.

I'm no judge but there seems to be a lot of hearsay happening here. The neighbor who gave you the warning was vague in a way that perhaps suggests discretion, but in reality, only muddies the waters. Either say something helpful (and objectively true) or say nothing at all; a blanket warning hews too close to gossip for my taste. If you want to be friends with this other neighbor, trust your judgment and proceed with caution, just as you would with anyone else.

It may be time to have a different conversation with your friend. Perhaps she is having memory problems. See if you can cite at least three instances when your friend has recounted a different version of a story to you than you remember. Tell her that you are concerned about her memory, and give her these examples as evidence. Know that she is likely to push back. Tell her anyway.