Maybe it's a job you hate or that no longer gives you satisfaction. Or an intimate relationship where the emotional connection has long since frayed, and you're now living parallel lives. Or, perhaps a friendship that was once vital but has now been downgraded to an acquaintance at best, or one that's unbalanced, where only your periodic outreach keeps it alive.
During Cher's appearance to promote her memoir, Shepard asked the singer who she'd see as a dream partner for Bell - who was also present for the chat. "Because I know you think she could do better, and I don't disagree," Shepard explained. Bell laughed it off, explaining that her husband of 12 years was simply being "self-deprecating" - and telling Cher, "You've never thought about that." "No! I just like her," Cher said of her Burlesque co-star.
Empathy flourishes in relationships that feel safe and nonjudgmental. The human brain resists large demands but cooperates readily with small, manageable ones. When the goal is too big, motivation collapses under the weight of expectation. But when the goal is tiny, the nervous system relaxes long enough to try. When a relational goal feels too big or too inauthentic, the nervous system can perceive it as a heavy load and shut down in response.
Doubts are normal in relationships, but persistent doubts might signal deeper incompatibility or that your partner may not be right for you. It's not uncommon for my clients to ask, with desperation in their eyes, "Should I end this relationship? How do I know if I should end it?" No one can answer this question but you. And how annoying that is not lost on me.
Your tarot card for New Year's Day is the Queen of Wands, which represents sparkly, positive qualities like confidence, passion, charisma, optimism, and determination. This one's for everyone who celebrated exactly how they wanted to last night. Did you dance 'til dawn? Kiss your date at midnight? Go to bed by nine? Queen energy means following your own path.
I used to love coming home from vacation. The way the plane would swoop over London's skyscrapers and the River Thames before landing at Heathrow. Returning to my favorite places, people, and my job. Until one day, I burst into tears on a flight home from Italy. When I turned 30, I thought I had it all with a great career in London managing communications for TV networks.
There is a widespread feeling that love is facing challenging times these days. Many of us may want more love in our lives, but that desire often fades quickly when we encounter difficulties. Love usually requires us to sacrifice something. In romantic relationships, it might mean dedicating time to our partner and spending less time with friends, family, work, or leisure.
This year, commit to unplugging for a set period of time each day, whether that's before breakfast in the morning or an hour before bed at night. "Make a joint resolution, not just an individual one, to set a time limit on social media and phone use when you're together," said Smith, who specializes in counseling men. "Challenge yourselves to make a list of fun, enjoyable alternative things you can do together instead of the isolating behavior being on our phones brings."
ROBERT WALDINGER: I started out as an intern in pediatrics and I would see one ear infection after another, and the kids were adorable, but one ear infection is pretty much the same as every other. Whereas when you talk to people about their lives, it's never the same. And I knew that that would keep me interested for my whole career, which it has.
We or anyone might sometimes come across with an egotistical manner. This includes being arrogant, belligerent, entitled, and controlling-the compulsions of a person driven by ego. Here are some challenging practices that can help us let go of egotism and build a healthy ego, one with self-esteem, humility, and loving-kindness. The practices may seem over-the-top in what they ask of us, a radically spiritual way of living.
Today, I want to share a goal-setting process I use in my life whenever I feel a change is needed. I also use it in just about every client session, both at the start of treatment and periodically along the way. This creates a sweet synergy: Using a tool yourself is the best way to learn what it takes to actually apply it.
Repeat. Your wife is not asking you to drive around with her human anatomy-resembling art plastered to your back windshield for the world to see. This is your home! The reaction of your family-whispering, "Are you aware of the resemblance?" not screaming, "Oh my god, there's a butthole over the fireplace!"-actually proves that her artistic intention was clear. It's a flower with some unfortunate qualities. Nobody actually thinks you have pornography hanging above the mantel.
Your card for the week is the Two of Pentacles, which represents balance, flexibility, and the need to adapt. It's the perfect card to keep in mind during the holiday season, especially if you feel like you're being pulled in multiple directions. When this card pops up in a tarot reading, it's often a sign that you have two (or more) important things to juggle.
Being right is a victory for the ego. Being connected is a truth of the soul. We are always connected-all that fluctuates is our awareness of that reality. But in being right, we not only forget that truth, but we translate the pain of disconnection into the cost of our struggle. Of course things are hard-because the other side makes it that way. This is true whether it's our political enemy or viewing our partner as the enemy.
My friend recently told me a story over drinks that I haven't been able to get out of my head. Her two friends, let's call them Alice and Bob, were something of a lynchpin couple in her friend group. They'd been dating for a few years and moved in together almost immediately. Everyone knew them as an item that did pretty much everything together. Alice and Bob were more like AliceandBob, really.
Some people fear spiders. Some fear public speaking. My biggest fear? That my plus-one will always be my own reflection. More and more people are finding themselves in the single life-not because they've joyfully signed up for it, but because they've quietly resigned themselves to it. Being alone forever is one of the worst things most people can imagine. And yet, nobody's talking about it.
Listen, if we all waited until we were fully healed, evolved, and spiritually polished, the planet would be a monastery. You don't have to be perfect to be in a relationship. You don't have to purge every childhood wound or meditate yourself into sainthood. You don't have to finish the book, the course, the cleanse, or the shadow-work workbook with all the gold stars.
Most of us think of suffering as something to eliminate, avoid, or fix. But what if conflict, especially in our relationships, is actually an invitation? What if the moments that stress us most hold within them the potential for exercising our heart's capacity for compassion, connection, expansion, and intimacy? When we respond to our own or another's pain with care rather than judgment, something extraordinary happens.
They're still reeling from the failure of their business with Whitney blaming Justin for taking them down the MLM rabbit hole. She resents him and is mad at herself for trusting him. Part of the reason this show is a success is that the women at its center understand that the secret formula is brutal honesty. Whereas lesser Housewives try to present the best version of themselves and hide the embarrassing skeletons in their closets,
Most people in relationships try to strike a delicate balance between being their real selves and their best selves. You want to show your partner who you truly are, but you also want to protect how they see you. You want to be honest, but not too raw. You want to admit to your mistakes, but not lose face. This inner tug-of-war can lead us to do strange things.
My client could have easily spent another hourlong session obsessing over "hot yoga guy" - which she'd done many times before - but I wasn't going to let her. My job as a therapist was to help bring deeper awareness to her emotional experience and to identify what was simmering just beneath the surface, driving compulsive thoughts and behaviors. In this case - limerence.
