#relationships

#relationships

Long-term relationships aren't easy. No matter how compatible two people might be, inevitably, there will be times when differences in opinions lead to arguments. Conflict, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. In fact, when handled well, it can lead to greater intimacy because partners feel heard, understood, and respected, essential ingredients for a solid emotional connection. On the other hand, hurtful conversations are divisive and can corrode the foundation of any relationship over time.

I had some messed up ideas around a woman's role and the influence of porn on that Jake was my first. I was 17 and he was 18. I lost my virginity way later than all my friends; sex had been so far out of my comfort zone. For me it was like social currency and I put a lot of pressure on myself to get it done.

Even if it's cold, and even if you're so tired, you should still trudge out the door to meet your friends, go on the date, get to the workout class, or whatever else you have scheduled. The King of Pentacles has a reliable, steady energy, which is especially helpful if your New Year's resolutions are starting losing steam. Be kind to yourself in the days ahead, and treat others the same way. Everyone says they want a close-knit community, but you actually need to show up in order to create it.

I've been financially responsible my entire adult life, and while I don't want to see debt as a dealbreaker, and I wouldn't break up with him over it, a part of me wants nothing to do with his debt. Also, I worry about what this says about his financial habits.

The five apology languages were coined by Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, andclinical psychologist Dr. Jennifer Thomas, Chapman's co-author of The 5 Apology Languages. In the same way that love languages are meant to describe how a person might recognize love when it's given to them, apology languages can help partners understand what it is about an apology that makes it feel genuine to the person they love.

Knowing when to leave a relationship is not a dramatic moment of collapse. More often, it is a quiet reckoning. A slow accumulation of truth. People imagine that leaving happens because love disappears or conflict explodes. In reality, many people leave because the daily effort of holding themselves together inside the relationship becomes weightier than the fear of being alone.

If you grew up feeling emotionally unsafe, unseen, or unloved, it's natural that your adult relationships might carry some of those same fears. You might unconsciously recreate familiar dynamics, because the brain often returns to what it knows, even when it hurts us. Much of early relationship conflict stems from our unhealed wounds. Tension often arises not just from our own behavior patterns, but from a lack of understanding of our partner's attachment needs and behaviors.

Maybe it's a job you hate or that no longer gives you satisfaction. Or an intimate relationship where the emotional connection has long since frayed, and you're now living parallel lives. Or, perhaps a friendship that was once vital but has now been downgraded to an acquaintance at best, or one that's unbalanced, where only your periodic outreach keeps it alive.

During Cher's appearance to promote her memoir, Shepard asked the singer who she'd see as a dream partner for Bell - who was also present for the chat. "Because I know you think she could do better, and I don't disagree," Shepard explained. Bell laughed it off, explaining that her husband of 12 years was simply being "self-deprecating" - and telling Cher, "You've never thought about that." "No! I just like her," Cher said of her Burlesque co-star.

Empathy flourishes in relationships that feel safe and nonjudgmental. The human brain resists large demands but cooperates readily with small, manageable ones. When the goal is too big, motivation collapses under the weight of expectation. But when the goal is tiny, the nervous system relaxes long enough to try. When a relational goal feels too big or too inauthentic, the nervous system can perceive it as a heavy load and shut down in response.

Doubts are normal in relationships, but persistent doubts might signal deeper incompatibility or that your partner may not be right for you. It's not uncommon for my clients to ask, with desperation in their eyes, "Should I end this relationship? How do I know if I should end it?" No one can answer this question but you. And how annoying that is not lost on me.

Your tarot card for New Year's Day is the Queen of Wands, which represents sparkly, positive qualities like confidence, passion, charisma, optimism, and determination. This one's for everyone who celebrated exactly how they wanted to last night. Did you dance 'til dawn? Kiss your date at midnight? Go to bed by nine? Queen energy means following your own path.

I used to love coming home from vacation. The way the plane would swoop over London's skyscrapers and the River Thames before landing at Heathrow. Returning to my favorite places, people, and my job. Until one day, I burst into tears on a flight home from Italy. When I turned 30, I thought I had it all with a great career in London managing communications for TV networks.

This year, commit to unplugging for a set period of time each day, whether that's before breakfast in the morning or an hour before bed at night. "Make a joint resolution, not just an individual one, to set a time limit on social media and phone use when you're together," said Smith, who specializes in counseling men. "Challenge yourselves to make a list of fun, enjoyable alternative things you can do together instead of the isolating behavior being on our phones brings."

ROBERT WALDINGER: I started out as an intern in pediatrics and I would see one ear infection after another, and the kids were adorable, but one ear infection is pretty much the same as every other. Whereas when you talk to people about their lives, it's never the same. And I knew that that would keep me interested for my whole career, which it has.

We or anyone might sometimes come across with an egotistical manner. This includes being arrogant, belligerent, entitled, and controlling-the compulsions of a person driven by ego. Here are some challenging practices that can help us let go of egotism and build a healthy ego, one with self-esteem, humility, and loving-kindness. The practices may seem over-the-top in what they ask of us, a radically spiritual way of living.

Today, I want to share a goal-setting process I use in my life whenever I feel a change is needed. I also use it in just about every client session, both at the start of treatment and periodically along the way. This creates a sweet synergy: Using a tool yourself is the best way to learn what it takes to actually apply it.

Repeat. Your wife is not asking you to drive around with her human anatomy-resembling art plastered to your back windshield for the world to see. This is your home! The reaction of your family-whispering, "Are you aware of the resemblance?" not screaming, "Oh my god, there's a butthole over the fireplace!"-actually proves that her artistic intention was clear. It's a flower with some unfortunate qualities. Nobody actually thinks you have pornography hanging above the mantel.

Your card for the week is the Two of Pentacles, which represents balance, flexibility, and the need to adapt. It's the perfect card to keep in mind during the holiday season, especially if you feel like you're being pulled in multiple directions. When this card pops up in a tarot reading, it's often a sign that you have two (or more) important things to juggle.

Being right is a victory for the ego. Being connected is a truth of the soul. We are always connected-all that fluctuates is our awareness of that reality. But in being right, we not only forget that truth, but we translate the pain of disconnection into the cost of our struggle. Of course things are hard-because the other side makes it that way. This is true whether it's our political enemy or viewing our partner as the enemy.