The better you are at managing your emotions, the less emotional support people offer you. It's not cruelty. It's perceptual bias. People take your composure at face value because it's efficient for them to do so. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people consistently underestimate the emotional needs of those they perceive as high copers.
A landmark review published in Perspectives on Psychological Science by John Cacioppo and Stephanie Cacioppo found that loneliness is driven not by the quantity of social connections but by their perceived quality. You can be isolated and feel perfectly whole. You can be surrounded and feel utterly alone.
Valentine's Day is mercifully behind us for another year, so we can all go back to not loving each other again. How wonderful it is to be freed of the burden of expressing our emotions in public. I didn't post a flowery declaration of devotion for my girlfriend on social media, and I kept expecting a flood of messages asking me if we'd broken up already. Such is the peer pressure of a holiday designed purely to justify our own self-worth.
It's a doll, Ineke Schmelter, 71, often says as she walks down the street with a pram and someone peers fondly under the hood, asking: How old is the baby? Then she pulls back the blanket and reveals the doll. She points out the craftsmanship the little veins, the creases in the skin and explains that it can take as many as 20 layers of paint to achieve such a lifelike finish.
As the youngest of four, my daughter probably hasn't known a totally peaceful day since she arrived home from the hospital. She was the travel baby - waking up in her infant seat to discover she'd been carted to a school play, T-ball practice, or school pickup. She had built-in playmates right from the start, though, of course, they bickered and fought like any other siblings.
Can AI help neurodivergent adults connect with each other? That's the bet of a new social network called Synchrony, which believes AI and a well-designed social network with the right safeguards can reduce social atomization and calm the overwhelming cacophony of socializing online.
I took it upon myself to be that person in the hospital every single day chasing doctors, taking notes, making sure I understood why they were doing things. It was so stressful, she says, that at one point her hair started falling out, but she ploughed on. It was Jones's therapist who gently questioned whether she was going to ask for help. Jones laughs. The hair falling out didn't suggest to me that I needed help, it was somebody else looking in and saying that.
She moved before the pandemic, when gentrification with its huge skyscrapers and condominiums forced her out of Dumbo, Brooklyn. Between the kitchen and the upstairs room, in one corner of which lie part of the 5,000 pages of notes she took while writing it, Desai finished The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny, the monumental, 19thcenturystyle novel she has spent nearly two decades on.
Boundaries have become part of our social understanding in recent years-the importance of setting boundaries has been the focus of many social media posts, books, podcasts, and blog posts right here on Psychology Today. And of course, boundaries are important-they delineate the separation between what is us and what is ours to manage and what belongs to someone else and is theirs to manage. As Prentis Hemphill said, "Boundaries are the distance I can love you and me simultaneously." Boundaries keep us safe.
Now fast forward to your fifties. You've just moved to a new neighborhood, or maybe you're trying to expand your social circle after years of focusing on career and family. You put yourself out there, join a book club, strike up conversations at the gym. But somehow, those easy connections that once felt automatic now feel like pushing a boulder uphill.
Loneliness has this sneaky way of making you feel like you're the only one experiencing it, doesn't it? I'll admit something: There have been nights when I've scrolled through my contacts, realizing I had no one I felt comfortable calling just to talk. Not because I don't know people, but because somewhere along the way, I'd built walls without even realizing it.
In the US, nearly half of adults are single. A quarter of men suffer from loneliness. Rates of depression are on the rise. And one in four Gen Z adults-the so-called kinkiest generation, according to one study -have never had partnered sex. In an age of endless connection, where hooking up happens with the ease of a swipe and nontraditional relationship structures like polyamory are celebrated, why are people seemingly so disconnected and alone?
After two years of living in New York City, I realized that, although I loved life in the Big Apple, I wasn't fond of the exorbitant cost of living. My days in the city were busy - think last-minute Broadway tickets, venturing out to Brooklyn for my photojournalism class, and bottomless brunches that turned into all-day affairs. Still, I found that leaving my apartment was costly, and I knew I needed a change.
Recent research reveals that chronic loneliness increases premature death risk by 26%, putting it on par with obesity. That's not hyperbole or clickbait. That's cold, hard science telling us that our friendless existence might be shortening our lives more than we ever imagined.
It is estimated that between one-third and half of the U.S. adult population experiences loneliness. In extremes, loneliness can lead to mental health problems (e.g., depression, suicidal ideation) and even impact physical health. The most vulnerable group is young adults, although children also experience loneliness. What Are the Treatments for Loneliness? There are a number of psychological interventions for those experiencing loneliness. For example, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy helps individuals rethink and reframe how they think about and approach social interactions.
I thrive in unfamiliar environments and get a kick out of last-minute plans and spontaneous adventures. So, it's hardly surprising I became an almost-accidental "digital nomad" - a term I've always found incredibly cringe-inducing, for the record. By "accidental," I mean it happened gradually. From weekend trips from London to Marrakech and Marseille, to a month in Barcelona, and six weeks exploring Europe by train, the more I traveled, the more I wanted to see.
Loneliness and burnout-deeply interwined in the workplace-are hitting American workers (and companies) hard. In 2025, global healthcare firm Cigna found that over half of all employees surveyed felt lonely. Around 57% admitted to feeling unmotivated and stagnant, while two-thirds of full-time workers say they experience burnout on the job, according to a 2025 Gallup study. The financial toll is jaw-dropping. Harvard Business Review reports that loneliness costs U.S. companies up to $154 billion annually through lost productivity, increased burnout, and employees resigning.
Loneliness and burnout-deeply interwined in the workplace -are hitting American workers (and companies) hard. In 2025, global healthcare firm Cigna found that over half of all employees surveyed felt lonely. Around 57% admitted to feeling unmotivated and stagnant, while two-thirds of full-time workers say they experience burnout on the job, according to a 2025 Gallup study. The financial toll is jaw-dropping. Harvard Business Review reports that loneliness costs U.S. companies up to $154 billion annually through lost productivity, increased burnout, and employees resigning.
As we traverse an era dominated by algorithms and driven by the impulse for efficiency, we increasingly sacrifice our ability to feel. In this "age of emotional poverty," highlighted by philosopher Byung-Chul Han, our emotional landscapes grow flatter, our pains diluted, and genuine intimacy replaced with a sterile digital façade. However, in Gulu's evocative imagery, the body emerges as a resilient space of resistance, pushing back against a world that demands we conform to neat, predictable narratives.
At the Consumer Electronics Show in early January, Razer made waves by unveiling a small jar containing a holographic anime bot designed to accompany gamers not just during gameplay, but in daily life. The lava-lamp-turned-girlfriend is undeniably bizarre-but Razer's vision of constant, sometimes sexualized companionship is hardly an outlier in the AI market.
Grappling with the loneliness epidemic, the damaging role of social media on face-to-face socialising, and young people's struggles to interact with peers in the post-pandemic era, psychotherapists look for an explanation in the lack of 'community'. Sociologists talk about community as a solution for childcare shortages and the best way to support nuclear families. Anthropologists remind us about the power of collective rituals, and bring up examples of culturally diverse models of communal life.
Regardless of age, it's a topic that comes up repeatedly in therapy. Loneliness is rarely about being alone, though. More often, it's about carrying thoughts, feelings, or experiences we don't feel safe to share. Psychologist Carl Jung, a pioneer in understanding the human psyche, said, "Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you."
In fact, their survey results from 2,500 randomly selected U.S. adults shows 80% of Gen Z say they believe they'll find true love, making them the most optimistic generation about finding love. Yet, only 55% of Gen Z feel like they're actually ready for partnership. Therein lies the "readiness paradox," a phenomenon that paralyzes Gen Z from taking that initial step toward a serious relationship, and subsequently toward marriage and having children.
Few experiences are more emotionally and psychologically taxing than feeling that you don't matter. You might sense it when you're talked over in a meeting, when no one asks for your opinion, when you work hard, but your efforts aren't acknowledged, when your teenage child no longer wants to spend time with you, or upon retirement, when that inevitable question sneaks in: Does anyone need me?
I think there's a deep loneliness to her life that cohabiting with her brother kept at bay-and, now that he's gone, she is forced to face it. As more of Kim's letters are delivered, Helen becomes invested in the narrative they form, as if she were piecing together a puzzle, one that, in some ways, echoes her own past. Kim's family is Muslim, from Pakistan.
He said it is not always about bright colors. Dark and grey tones can give an image more depth and strength than bright colors ever could. Also, it can show the rawness of a story and make it more powerful. I was not convinced. I even took a picture of the painting, thinking I would look at it again later. And it took me years to understand.
