"Because of work, we had to move about four hours away. Since then, we have felt increasingly isolated. I tried to call weekly, visit often and send gifts for every holiday. About a year in, I realized we were initiating all the contact and tried a little experiment. We stopped calling them. It took more than eight weeks for anyone to contact us. His mother calls his other siblings who live elsewhere every week, but not us."
"Although I live closer to my own family now, I mourn the loss of my friends and his family and feel frustrated that they don't care about us, seemingly caring about other family members more. Any advice? CAST-OFF AND LONELY DEAR LONELY: It appears you have too much free time on your hands. You can't change these people's behavior. Instead of brooding, stop dwelling on your in-laws' shortcomings and devote your energy to making friends in your new community."
A relocated couple experienced growing isolation after moving four hours away from his family despite the wife's repeated calls, visits, and holiday gifts. The wife stopped initiating contact and found it took over eight weeks before the family reached out; the in-laws call other siblings weekly and never visit despite invitations. The husband, busy with work, copes more easily while the wife mourns lost friendships. Another correspondent reports a verbally abusive son-in-law affecting a three-year-old and fears escalation. Advice urges shifting energy toward building local friendships and pursuing projects to meet like-minded people.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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