When Love Feels Earned
Briefly

When Love Feels Earned
"Children often interpret parental silence or pauses as disapproval, which can lead them to measure their worth based on a parent's expressions or reactions."
"Heavy praise for performance can create an impression that connection and love must be earned, thus changing a child's perception of their intrinsic worth."
"Firm boundaries, when combined with emotional presence, instill a sense of safety in children, assuring them they are valued regardless of their behavior."
"Modeling a sense of enoughness that is separate from productivity helps children grow into confident individuals who value themselves irrespective of external validation."
Children's self-esteem is profoundly affected by parental responses, especially during mistakes. A moment of silence can be misconstrued as disapproval, impacting how children perceive their worth. Over-praising performance can create a belief that love must be earned, leading to a fragile sense of self. It is crucial for parents to set firm boundaries while maintaining an emotional presence, ensuring children feel safe and valued. Modeling a sense of worth that is not tied to productivity empowers children to foster confidence independent of external feedback.
Read at Psychology Today
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