#self-care

#self-care

Since pentacle cards are tied to the earth, it looks like it'll be a big week for the homebodies. For some of you, it might mean literally staying in and enjoying your rent. This card is all about self-care, and it also reminds you to check in with yourself. When was the last time you took a nap? Ordered takeout? Luxuriated in a bath? If it's been a minute, you know what to do...

Most of us probably have an auntie or neighbor who deeply loves their garden, and it's easy to view this as a pastime for retired folks, or for those super wholesome types. But, if you ask your neighbor what the appeal is, you may be surprised to learn it's doing something for him that even the busiest and most serious among us could use more of.

Every once in a while, you might find yourself particularly stressed from work or overwhelmed with social responsibilities and personal challenges. Sometimes, the best answer to all those worries is spending a few hours (or even days) in total relaxation, getting pampered with facials, massages, and therapeutic baths, surrounded by scented candles and soothing incense, and sustaining yourself with delicious but healthy foods and beverages.

I can't speak for everyone, but I can say that now that I am older, I am 100% taking advantage of the lessons my parents taught me that I definitely ignored while I was younger. Like never going to bed with a sink full of dishes: Or having a glass of water between every drink at the bar: Or, my personal favorite, washing your body once with a cleansing bar soap and then a second time with a moisturizing body wash:

Lately, I've noticed a theme among my clients and, similarly, in myself. Many of us are in seasons that demand sustained focus and mindful energy. We are pushing toward something important while trying to protect our flow from distractions, self-doubt, and emotional noise. I often emphasize the value of self-check-ins and collecting your own data. But what happens when you are in such a driven, purposeful stretch that even pausing to reflect feels like it could knock you off balance?

If a post didn't get a like within two minutes, I'd delete it and try again, often asking friends to like it and comment just to keep up with appearances. When I lost a follower, I'd look at an app to see who it was. I was constantly refreshing, hoping to get more than 100 likes in an hour. I drove myself crazy.

Last year, building my career and staying focused on my profession mattered the most to me. I didn't have time for really anything else. I'm used to powering through things. I'm a military spouse and I'm raising kids, but over the course of several months, I noticed my health was declining in ways that didn't feel like typical burnout. I found out I was suffering from the effects of two undiagnosed autoimmune conditions: rheumatoid arthritis and Hashimoto's disease.

When I was cast on the TV show "Survivor" in 2023 (yes, that show is still on), I thought I knew what anxiety felt like. I had spent years helping clients understand it, name it, and care for it. I had been in active therapy for around a decade. But living through it in front of millions of people is something no training could have prepared me for.

I was the one people turned to. And if they didn't turn to me, I turned to them. If someone was going through a hard time, I'd show up with soup, a handwritten card, or a call that stretched for hours. I'd intuit needs before they were spoken. And when people said things like "Wow! How do you even manage all this?" or "You're incredible," my heart swelled with pride. It felt good to be seen. It felt powerful to be needed.

Whenever I think of my YiaYia Harriet Patras, I see her with neatly styled hair, wearing a perfectly polished outfit, and decked to the nines in fairly heirlooms and conversation-starting rings. My grandmother had a life filled with challenges and loss, though you'd never know it by looking at her. When I learned about some of her personal struggles later in my adulthood, I was shocked.

In many ways, taking a break from sex is an act of self-care, says Naomi Zelin, APCC, a sex and relationship therapist at Humbly Elevated. There are plenty of reasons to say no, whether it's due to something physical, mental, emotional, or all of the above. If it isn't making you happy, or if it's complicating your life, it makes sense to step away.

October this year feels sacred. While the world has been engulfed in all sorts of chaos, tragedy, and difficult conversations, I'm looking forward to deep inhales of freshly fallen leaves, a quart of spiked apple cider, and a happy Halloween. Truly, who doesn't want to surround themselves with a little magic, a bit of escape, and a whole lot of chocolate? It's time to disassociate a bit.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed right now? We are all feeling it lately, personally and collectively as a society. You may be absorbing not only your own stress, but stress from those around you, as well as national stress. The world - and maybe your life - feels like it's turned upside down and may not seem like it makes sense anymore.

By the time I pulled into the driveway, the only things on my mind were a hot shower and no fewer than 16 hours of sleep. But as soon as I opened the door, my three cats immediately surrounded me, taking on the role of a furry TSA team and inspecting all my bags thoroughly. They had been waiting expectantly, and despite my sheer exhaustion, they reminded me that dinner time doesn't wait, no matter how tired I am.

As I've shared before, when I was 12, I was playing at a friend's house one hot August afternoon when I was told I was needed at home. As I turned into my long driveway, I saw the lights of an ambulance, a stretcher being loaded into the back. The doors slammed shut. The whirling lights threw red streaks across the oaks as it sped past me out of our driveway. No one noticed the small, pale, immobilized girl standing by the mailbox.

If you're at home, just brew some coffee and pour as much friggin' creamer in as you want! But, if you're in public, options vary. Some coffee shops will have creamer; others will be, like, "We just have half-and-half," and that is insane. It is not the same. When in doubt, bring your on-the-go creamer and do not allow anyone to shame you. You are an adult and you know what you like.

This summer, I did something unusual for me: I hit pause. After a year that included launching an in-person summit for nearly 200 women, hosting a retreat in Cabo, launching my podcast (with co-host Dr. Nicole Martin), and releasing a book, I was, in a word, tired. The kind of tired that no amount of coffee or color-coded planner could fix.

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Expect a slow start to your morning as the week begins under the tender Cancer moon, helping you prioritize comfort and your emotional well-being. A few extra minutes under the duvet or a comforting conversation with a loved one could make all the difference. By mid-morning, sparks fly as loving Venus coordinates with diplomatic Mars. Your charm, grace, and lightheartedness will make sure people don't forget your name. But you know what's really memorable? Making people feel seen, appreciated, and uplifted.

Please sit down, I begged my neighbour, who was leaning across the car gearstick, arm stretched around my headrest. My pleas for him to fasten his seatbelt were futile. Now he was jigging about, gesticulating wildly as he revealed his latest plans. He had told me before about the script he was writing for Gary Oldman. I hadn't thought too much of it, then all writers have to be a bit grandiose, I had reasoned, otherwise they wouldn't achieve anything.