You might be holding your breath right now and not even realize it. You are reading these words, but a part of you is likely somewhere else entirely. Most of us live in a state of suspended animation, mentally circling in a vortex of "what-ifs" while our bodies go into autopilot. A single worry triggers a loop, and suddenly you are disconnected from the room you are sitting in and the people you are with.
Gratitude is not a denial of hardship. It is a deliberate act of resilience, a refusal to let despair dictate the terms of our lives. To practice gratitude is to exercise quiet courage: to notice beauty amid brokenness, to honor progress while acknowledging pain, and to recognize that even in difficulty, meaning persists. In this way, gratitude is not passive. It is a form of resistance against hopelessness.
When the idea of someone has taken up free residence in your head, it's time to start charging rent. What does that mean in practice? Make the idea of her/your first marriage earn its place. Right now, it's living rent-free because it's asking you questions you seemingly can't answer what could have happened, what went wrong, what if, why, et cetera. You can start asking the idea of her questions back. Why are you here? What do you have to teach me?
It's the holiday season, that tender time of year marked by Thanksgiving feasts, Christmas lights, and New Year's promises. It's also the time of year when many of us silently vow to ourselves that we'll treat the people around us with greater tenderness. No more passing people by as if they're props on a stage or obstacles to swerve around.
A recent study published in the journal, , discusses the relationship between mind wandering and mood, and suggests that it isn't mind wandering, itself, that is to blame for our unhappy states, but rather the emotional tone of our thoughts as they wander. Personally, I can certainly corroborate the effect of unhelpful self-talk and the less-than-awesome moods it can inspire. In developing the capacity to mindfully sit with my own thoughts, it didn't take long to notice just how many of them were judgmental, critical,
For some people, deep breathing exercises work like a charm. For others, not so much. If you fall into the latter category, you might enjoy the "five-finger breathing" technique, which adds a little something extra into the mix. On TikTok, creators are sharing their love for five-finger breathing, including user @mindfullymadetherapy, who said, "Sometimes just breathing isn't enough, and you need a coping skill that's multi-sensory [or] involving other senses to help distract or calm down the brain."
Your brain is an incredible network of over 160 billion cells linked by over 100 trillion connections. Each day and each moment, it's being influenced by the choices you make. While no single signal or chemical determines your brain's fate, incredible scientific research over the last few decades have revealed that a certain molecule produced by your body's cells may be uniquely capable of growing your brain and even growing new brain cells.
The other morning, I was on a Zoom call with a CEO, trying to sound composed, when my four-year-old burst into the room demanding to know where her princess dress was. I glanced down at my to-do list - which never seems to get shorter - and noticed I still needed to book a trip to San Francisco. In that moment, surrounded by chaos, I thought: I write a column called The Long Game.
In modern society, it's considered *super* normal to strive for things outside of yourself. Call it hustle culture or rise-and-grind-either way, you're told to constantly reach for a promotion, a new car, or a fancy espresso machine (to fuel all your ambitions, ofc). This isn't a bad thing. Setting goals and challenging yourself can teach you discipline and dedication-not to mention it feels really good when you achieve them.
People ask me sometimes, "What do you think about out there?"-usually with a curious look, as if pedaling for hours must feel like watching paint dry. But it's not like that at all. The longer the ride, the more my mind opens up. The road doesn't bore me-it speaks to me. It quiets the noise of everyday life and lets the thoughts that matter most rise to the surface.
After a long day of work, your mind deserves a moment to slow down and recover. In this class, you will find a calm and supportive space to release tension, quiet inner noise, and reconnect with yourself. You'll leave feeling lighter, clearer, and more balanced - ready to face life with renewed strength and compassion. Join us this Thursday, November 6th at 5:30 pm for a guided Chan meditation class at Healthy Energy Spot, Willow Glen (San Jose): 1060 Willow St #3, San Jose, CA 95125.
Recently someone offered me a couple of books on the spiritual healing arts from a respected author—for free. It was the kind of offer I once would have responded positively to, taken them gratefully, and brought them home to sit on my "to be read" shelf. Maybe I would have tried to read them, maybe I would have even completed them. Instead, what I heard myself saying, with unusual frankness, was, "No thanks. I'm sick of self-improvement."
ROBERT WALDINGER: I am a Zen practitioner and I'm an ordained Zen priest, and I'm a Zen teacher. I'm actually a Roshi, a Zen master. And so I meditate every day. I teach meditation here in the United States and actually internationally, it's a big part of my life. And what I find is that it is an enormous benefit in terms of how I think about my own life, other people's lives, how I think about my research, how I think about working with patients.
When you name what you're feeling you're not just talking. You're helping your brain shift gears. Research shows that labeling emotions reduces activity in the amygdala, the part of your brain that sounds the alarm. At the same time, it activates the prefrontal cortex, the part that helps you think clearly and make good decisions (Lieberman and colleagues, 2007). Naming your emotions helps you move from panic to power.
We've said it before and we'll say it again: the way you do yoga is the way you do life. In addition to your actual time on the mat, this reality is reflected by the yoga habits that accompany your practice. That pre-yoga cup of tea that must be sipped from a certain mug, the music played en route, painstakingly adjusting your mat so it lines up with the floorboards...these micro moments combine in a regimen that can border on ritual.
A visual timer that can help make transitions easier for everyone. Since kids can't tell time, "five more minutes" doesn't mean much. When time is visual, kids can watch the colored portion get smaller and be less shocked when time is up. If you have a kid that struggles with transitions or doesn't want any time but NOW, this timer is for you.
For years, I tied my identity to productivity. My self-worth hinged on how much I could accomplish in a day, how many boxes I could check. The busier I was, the more valuable I believed myself to be. But that constant need to perform left me mentally and emotionally drained, disconnected not only from others but from myself. The shift didn't happen overnight. There wasn't a single moment of clarity, but rather a quiet unraveling of old habits and a tentative embrace of new rhythms.
Twenty-two foam nubs protrude from the bottom of this shoe. When I slide it on, it almost feels like I'm walking on bubble tape-or like, with every step, an octopus tentacle is suctioning to my foot. Even through a thick cotton sock and all that foam, I can feel textures underfoot. I sense the individual blades of grass on a soccer pitch, and dragging my sole along a textured running track feels a bit akin to licking the roof of my mouth.
People really like Japanese philosophy. If you ever see a list of "untranslatable words" or "beautiful words from around the world," then you will notice how Japanese ideas are often overrepresented. Whenever I explore a Japanese concept on the Mini Philosophy social media pages - wabi- sabi, mono no aware, ikigai - they outperform almost everything else. Part of this, no doubt, is a kind of exoticism.
Zen Buddhist monk and personal hero of mine, Thich Nhat Hanh, spent much of his life writing about mindfulness. He stressed that when we do anything, we should commit to it fully, giving it our undivided attention and allowing ourselves to become immersed in it, be it simply eating, walking, or anything else. "Drink your tea slowly and reverently," he said, "as if it is the axis on which the earth revolves--slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future."
Neuroscience is a newcomer to the field of free will. What are exactly the kind of questions that are worth asking? What different kinds of experiments that can say something about conscious and unconscious decisions can help us be more modest in what we realize we can control, and what we can't? Generally, humans have a sense that they control themselves and sometimes their environment more than they do.
Sometimes it means trying costumes, techy toys, and increasingly kinkier scenarios - and that stuff can definitely be a lot of fun. But other times, mixing it up just means trying out a new sex position. No matter how big or how small the change, doing something new can keep your sex life from becoming boring. Because boring sex - you know, the kind where you're zoning out and thinking about what to eat for lunch tomorrow -
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Tiffany Ng, a 24-year-old tech and culture writer based in New York City who runs the newsletter Cyber Celibate. This story has been edited for length and clarity. I found myself, as most people are, attached to my phone. So I started a project called Cyber Celibate, where I took a "vow of digital chastity" and started experimenting with being a " neo-Luddite." The idea was: What technology can I quit for set periods of time, what can I learn from it, and how can that help me find more intentional relationships with technology?
"Thoughts are the thinker," my Buddhist teacher said this Sunday at our bi-monthly gathering, and I thought, "Amen, sister!" I had the instinct to rejoice and affirm (Southern Baptist style from my youth) because this notion that I don't actually think my thoughts has helped me, more than any other idea, with what I call my "looping." My "looping" is more commonly referred to as intrusive thoughts: unwanted images, impulses, words, or phrases that crash the mental party uninvited.
How do you navigate difficult conversations? During these divisive and tumultuous times, it can be hard to communicate productively with others, especially with those whose perspectives differ significantly from our own. Whatever the topic, whatever our viewpoints or theirs, there's typically nothing easy about these discussions. And often the parties walk away feeling unheard, along with some mixture of feeling frustration, anger, sadness, resentment, grief, defensiveness, loss, overwhelm, or other uncomfortable emotions.
Jane Goodall has passed away at the age of 91. She spent her life championing the comprehension and appreciation of the natural world. In so doing, she taught the rest of the world what it means to be human. One of the world's foremost primatologists and conversationists, Goodall was an embodiment of dharma, an Eastern concept that involves finding your purpose and allowing it to guide your life.
