"Every year we face the same issues with my husband's parents. We invite them and they will say that they are waiting to see if they get an invite from his sister first. If not, they will come to us. Yes, they are this blatant about it. My husband appears to see no issue with this - even though we all have children and they also clearly favour my sister-in-law's children."
"I want them to give us an answer within a week of being asked, as it is not OK with me that we are second best."
The husband's parents habitually wait to see if the sister invites them before committing, demonstrating clear favoritism toward the sister-in-law's children. The husband does not recognize an issue despite multiple grandchildren and repeated patterns. The spouse feels hurt and refuses to accept being treated as second best. Establishing a one-week RSVP deadline creates clarity and respects the hosts' planning needs. Aligning expectations with the husband first strengthens a united front. Communicate calmly and directly with the parents, state consequences for late replies, and follow through by making independent plans when no timely answer is given.
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