The Cost of Authenticity During Family Holiday Gatherings

"For many people, the end-of-year holiday season carries a distinctly spiritual quality. It is meant to slow us down, loosen the grip of everyday pressures, and create space for rest, gratitude, and reconnection. The common rituals of the season, namely shared meals, familiar traditions, and time with loved ones, offer a rare opportunity to step outside work roles and social demands, and to remember what (and who) matters most."

"And yet, for all its promise of calm and connection, family holiday reunion meals are also a frequent source of stress, anxiety, and conflict. Expectations run high, old roles resurface, and time together can feel intense, prolonged, and friction-prone. The reason? Freed from the self-control and impression management that govern everyday interactions, particularly during high-stakes work settings, family members often revert to historical familiar patterns, unresolved tensions, and unfiltered truths."

The end-of-year holiday season carries a spiritual quality, intended to slow life, loosen pressures, and create space for rest, gratitude, and reconnection. Shared meals, traditions, and time with loved ones allow stepping outside work roles and remembering important people and values. Family reunions often provoke stress, anxiety, and conflict as expectations rise, old roles reappear, and time together becomes intense. Reduced impression management lets family members revert to historical patterns, unresolved tensions, and unfiltered truths. This closeness can restore or strain relationships. Minimizing holiday conflict may require moderating authentic self-expression to avoid triggering entrenched dynamics.

Read at Psychology Today