""Sliding Door Moments" are the words or gestures communicated to others that-despite seeming inconsequential-deeply affect the most important relationships in our lives. In the fluster of the holiday season, sliding door moments are easy to miss. When multitasking, you can't concentrate adequately on any one thing. You lose sight of what is important. Opportunities for intimacy glide away. Busying yourself trying to make the holidays perfect for everyone, it's easy to let sliding door moments slide right by."
"When you are stressed, you keep interactions short in an effort to take care of business. However, what you succeed in doing instead is cutting connections with loved ones. You stop turning towards. When turning towards becomes a rare occurrence, Negative Sentiment Override. This is illustrated in endless variations on the theme of family dysfunction in holiday movies. To begin with, many people feel awkward openly sharing their desires. The holidays, a stressful time for many, often exacerbate this anxiety."
Sliding door moments are everyday words or gestures that, while seemingly small, significantly shape close relationships. Holiday busyness and multitasking make these moments easy to miss, reducing attention and causing opportunities for intimacy to vanish. Short, businesslike interactions under stress cut connections and reduce turning-towards behavior, enabling Negative Sentiment Override and family dysfunction. Many people feel awkward voicing desires and may stay silent to avoid rejection, allowing bids for connection to go unnoticed. Setting a positive example by attentively and supportively responding to others' bids builds trust. Consistent turning towards and individualized attention strengthens relationships and fosters healthier group dynamics.
Read at The Gottman Institute
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