Polly Vernon: The first stage of saying you don't want kids is when everyone goes "You'll change your mind". The next is when they're like, "Hurry up or you'll regret it"

"At the age of 13 months, I became an elder sister. I can remember resenting it, people going "You're the elder" and me being like "I'm three". I don't think anyone ever really thinks of you properly as a child the moment you become an eldest daughter. You've got a caretaking role. I knew from quite young I never wanted children."

"The systems in society which technically favour men in terms of power do not do them any favours in things like mental health. I think we all know what loneliness feels like, and we all fear it terribly. I have felt terribly lonely at times in my life. Having written this book, I know that staying connected with people, having a warm and solid social base, keeps you alive."

"In 2016 I wrote a book called Hot Feminist . Until recently I haven't really been able to talk about it, because it was really traumatic. I still believe it was a really truthful and useful book. I felt like feminism had become really joyless. I wanted to draw focus back to a kind of feminism that was joyful, funny and silly - aware of its contradictions, and aware that women can be terrible but also brilliant, and that wasn't so f**king po-faced."

Born in Brighton and moved to a small fishing town in Devon at age two. Became an elder sister at 13 months and assumed a caretaking role, prompting an early decision not to have children. Felt unpopular in childhood and pursued friendships readily. Maintained generally easy and instinctive relationships with men, with few problematic early romances. Observes that societal systems favor men in power yet create mental health disadvantages. Experienced profound loneliness and emphasizes that warm, solid social connections are vital for survival. Published a 2016 book, Hot Feminist, intending to reclaim a joyful, humorous feminism, but faced anger and trauma.

Read at Irish Independent