"It is true that sometimes the black sheep is indeed different or problematic by anyone's standards (sometimes the result of a hidden mental illness). Or she may be a sociopath who violates the family's boundaries and care, so that the family has to exclude her to rightfully protect themselves. But surprisingly, very seldom is either of these scenarios actually the case."
"Many, many black sheep are lovable folks with much to offer their families and the world. In fact, they are often the best and brightest. They may be the most creative of the family, or the one with the most powerful emotions. In truth, the world is full of black sheep. Think hard. Does your family have one? This question is not as easy to answer as it may seem, for many black sheep are not physically excluded from the family."
A family can create an emotionally excluded 'black sheep' through subtle, repeated patterns that form without awareness or intent. Excluded members are often sensitive, creative, highly capable, or emotionally intense rather than uniformly problematic. Rarely are black sheep sociopaths or solely responsible for their exclusion; some exclusions follow legitimate protective responses, but many stem from long-term negative talk, unexplained anger, and subtle exclusion from events or news. Signs include persistent hurt or anger, frequent negative discussions behind the person's back, and exclusion from family occasions or information. Emotional exclusion can be invisible yet deeply damaging to relationships and individual well-being.
Read at Psychology Today
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