"Entertaining a person you don't know for a full week is a bit of a heavy lift, if you ask me. Even though your feelings about the situation are no doubt affected by the newness of the relationship and the unfinished nature of his last relationship, it's probably best to focus solely on the question of whether you want to make this holiday about getting to know someone new."
"You can tell him that you are looking forward to seeing him and what the holiday means to you. Tell him, also, that you're happy he's found a new relationship, but ask if you can separate meeting her from the holiday. Maybe this is less possible because of the logistics of travel, but it's worth talking through why this has to happen right now."
A grandmother's separated grandson wants to visit at Christmas for a week with his new girlfriend. Entertaining a person you do not know for a full week can be a heavy lift. The decision should hinge on whether the holiday will be about getting to know someone new. The family member should talk with the grandson, express anticipation for the visit, acknowledge happiness about his new relationship, and request separating meeting the new partner from the holiday when possible. Avoid blanket exclusions, discuss logistics and envisioned plans, and seek a compromise. A second correspondent receives large annual gourmet gifts and worries about appearing ungrateful when asking to stop receiving them.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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