"My brother has always been the favorite child, and my parents have enabled him for as long as I can remember. But this past Thanksgiving was a breaking point. He spent the entire gathering spewing racist, sexist, and homophobic language-truly vile epithets every few sentences. Attempts to redirect, call him out, or set a different tone were ignored or mocked. My spouse, who is typically calm and extremely patient, became visibly uncomfortable,"
"After Thanksgiving, I texted my family stating that my spouse and I could only attend future gatherings if bigoted language is completely off-limits. My brother laughed at the idea of changing anything, and my parents responded that they "don't agree with all of my opinions" and that I should just tolerate him for the sake of family togetherness. Here's the complication: My father's side of the family is significantly older and dealing with health issues."
A family member must choose between protecting personal and spousal safety and preserving time with aging relatives. The brother, long favored and enabled, escalated to repeatedly using racist, sexist, and homophobic language at a recent Thanksgiving gathering, ignoring attempts to redirect him. The spouse became visibly uncomfortable, sparking an argument about attending future events where the brother is present. A boundary was communicated: no bigoted language at gatherings. The brother mocked the idea and the parents urged tolerance for family togetherness. The person fears losing limited time with elderly relatives and has offered to host out-of-state visits, but the family resists travel.
Read at Slate Magazine
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]