"My grandmother strove for perfection, convinced that it was an attainable goal if only you worked hard enough. This meant eating less to lose weight. Food deprivation became a family bonding activity when my grandmother was on a diet. Diets lasted decades. We had marathon cleaning weekends while friends went to the mall. Play clothes were swapped out for school clothes for our rare trips to Burger King."
"Years later, as I began my own journey toward motherhood, I vowed that my children would not endure what I had. I would allow them to make messes. That dog I always wanted, but was never allowed to have because pets were dirty, would complete the large family I also always wanted. Perfection would become what it was meant to be, a foolish ideal - not a reality to strive for at all costs."
A lifelong pursuit of order and perfection shaped family habits, from dieting and food deprivation to marathon cleaning weekends and chore lists on the refrigerator. The grandmother demanded order and held herself to strict standards, often chastising herself for perceived physical and moral shortcomings, which caused significant guilt. The next generation vowed to break the cycle and embrace messiness and realistic expectations, imagining a family with pets and relaxed rules. Despite intentions to change, the pattern of striving for flawless appearances persisted, including matching outfits, picture-perfect cards, and exhaustive cleaning and exercise.
Read at Business Insider
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