The research shows that for many who are diagnosed with PTSD, the condition arises not from what was done to us but what we did—or what we failed to prevent. This mechanism, known as moral injury, can be sympathetic ('I couldn't save them') but is often not sympathetic at all ('I killed them'). For people carrying this factor in PTSD, the task of integration, of sitting with and holding what we've done, is far more challenging.
The episode explores the difference between healthy and unhealthy fear, examining how fear serves protective functions while also understanding when fear responses become counterproductive and interfere with daily functioning and well-being.
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. ~Viktor Frankl. For a long time, my first response to difficulty was a single, aching question: 'Why me?' It surfaced whenever life took an unexpected turn—when plans collapsed, when effort didn't materialize, when circumstances felt unfair and overwhelming.
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk writes in 'The Body Keeps the Score' that trauma doesn't just live in our minds - it reshapes how our bodies respond to emotion. Sometimes, when we experience significant loss, our nervous system essentially decides that feeling is too dangerous and shuts down the whole operation.
The number of suicides per 100,000 young people ages 10 to 24 declined by nearly 12 percent, from 11 to 9.7, between 2021 and 2024. The decrease was driven largely by reductions among young men, whose suicide levels fell by nearly 15 percent, while suicides among young women declined by about 2 percent.
The truth is that I am mentally unwell. Despite this, I have pushed myself to continue with touring. As a result my mental health has only further declined. After discussions with my team, we have decided to cancel the remaining shows and take an indefinite hiatus from live music.
With sweaty palms and trembling knees, I asked him to grant me a one-month medical leave because my depression had become unbearable. I struggled to find the words. 'It's hard to explain,' I eventually said. 'I just don't have any energy. To do anything. I'm drained all the time, physically. And nothing feels good to me. I hate myself. I only get out of bed to come to work.'
I spent years climbing the corporate ladder. I believed success would bring me satisfaction. Instead, I became so exhausted that I couldn't enjoy family time, hobbies, or even quiet moments at home. I was always frustrated, crying, and snapping at the people around me.
Monet, a special-ed high school teacher, clarified that the kids aren't the problem. It's the rest of it: the endless paperwork, shifting lesson plans, and constant assessments. Inside the rage room, Monet was tentative at first, but then entered a flow state, conjuring up something that was bothering her before taking each swing.
Of course, those normal things came up. Then on top of it, I was dealing with people commenting on my body at a young age, starting to get photographed, and people asking you how many times you weigh yourself or comparing you to people that were thinner than you or other girls in your line of work.
