When you are able to calm down, you should reach out to your friend. Chances are, she is totally unaware of her behavior toward you. Because she doesn't handle stress well, she shrugs off your issues. Now, seeing her co-worker on a daily basis and observing whatever crisis she may have experienced has forced her to acknowledge someone else going through it.
"It's an abomination, the Bible says so. Marriage is between a man and woman. Anything else is unnatural, it's wrong!" He was, as we say in these parts, convicted in his words. "I hear you," I replied. "I know that the idea seems a little odd to some folks. But the main thing I get from the Bible is that we're supposed to love one another, especially people who are different from us, hard for us to love." That's all I said. He chewed on that for a moment and then replied, "I guess you're right." And then, after a bit more pondering, "Well, I suppose they're just born that way anyway."
Empathy is usually regarded as a virtue, a key to human decency and kindness. And yet, with increasing momentum, voices on the Christian right are preaching that it has become a vice. For them, empathy is a cudgel for the left: It can manipulate caring people into accepting all manner of sins according to a conservative Christian perspective, including abortion access, LGBTQ+ rights, illegal immigration and certain views on social and racial justice.
Thomas Berry once aptly noted, "The universe is a communion of subjects, not a collection of objects." This statement reinforces the need for a paradigm shift toward recognizing interconnectedness among all forms of life.
Empathy is perceived as an unqualified good, with societal belief suggesting that feeling each other's pain can heal issues such as relationship divides and social injustices. However, in romantic relationships, there can be an overemphasis on empathy, leading to an imbalance where one partner's pain overshadows the other's needs.
I had a gay professor in college at a time when openly gay folks still weren't out a lot, who became one of my favourite professors and was a great guy and would call me out when I started saying stuff that was ignorant.
Some interactions fill us up, even energize us. There's a connection, not a transfer. But others leave us depleted. There's a heaviness we feel, and perhaps a sense of confusion. We worked hard, and empathy might continue to radiate through us to the point of becoming anxious thoughts.
"Compassion moves beyond an empathic desire to understand into engagement - doing something to make things better. It combines the desire or motivation to act with acting to alleviate suffering and promote well-being."
In a moment of crisis or deep self-doubt, what you need often isn't more reassurance... but a careful challenge: someone to help you spot the unhelpful loops in your thinking and hand you real tools to break free.
When I was 12, I was diagnosed with Lupus. It attacked my brain, and I had to relearn how to do everything. I lost my memory and had tremors in my entire body. I also couldn't walk; it was Cerebellar ataxia.
