Parents frequently struggle with adult children expressing anger and distance after years of loving support, often feeling confused and hurt by perceived unfair treatment. They should lead with empathy instead of defensiveness when responding to anger, recognizing that such feelings may not stem from just one event but can be complex and multifaceted. A genuine acknowledgment of their adult child’s feelings is essential. Love between parents and children is not about counting mistakes or measuring emotional support.
Avoid making statements like, 'I never meant to hurt you.' Accept their strong feelings and listen. Love should not involve scorekeeping.
Parents often feel incredulous about the distance created by their adult children, grappling with feelings of being treated unfairly despite their love and efforts.
When faced with their child's anger, parents should respond with empathy instead of defensiveness, acknowledging their child's feelings without needing to agree.
Acknowledge that the anger of adult children may stem from deeper issues rather than a single incident, prompting more profound conversations.
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