I've reached a boiling point. I don't want to live my life and see others live their lives through phones. I'm sick of watching AI slop (AI-generated images and short videos that dumb us down) and news that is upsetting, exhausting, and hopeless. And, simultaneously, I'm scrolling through Instagram and mindlessly comparing myself to strangers, consuming content from a toxic algorithm, shaping what I see. Social media, for me, has become overwhelming;
Well, I'm here to tell you that sometimes conventional wisdom is dead wrong. Three years ago, fresh off a painful breakup, I met someone who was supposed to be a temporary distraction. A way to forget. A classic rebound. Today, she's my wife, the mother of my daughter, and the person who taught me what a truly healthy relationship looks like.
Instead, they practice something called "friluftsliv" - literally "free air life" - and in February, when winter feels endless, this practice becomes almost sacred. It's their secret weapon against the darkness, and after trying it myself during a particularly rough winter, I can tell you it works better than any supplement I've ever taken. The word itself sounds complicated, but friluftsliv is beautifully simple. It means spending time outdoors, regardless of weather conditions. Not despite the cold and darkness, but because of it.
Why would you do that? It's a way to remove distraction, calm your nervous system and practise mindfulness. And get clean. Yes, you also get clean. But this is more about finding those small, intentional moments that release you from the cares of your day. It sounds like an accident waiting to happen. You don't have to shower in complete darkness just in dim light, even by candlelight.
As AI takes on more analytical and operational decision-making, the leaders who will stand out are those who can do what machines can't: read emotional cues, build trust, and inspire teams to act. In this new landscape, emotional intelligence is more than a soft skill. It's becoming the core differentiator of effective leadership. I once advised a CEO whose metrics looked flawless. Revenue was rising, costs were under control, and the company was steadily gaining market share.
While goals can create structure in your life, give you something to strive for, and even inspire you, reaching the goal itself is a result of what you do to get there. The actions you take are the process-how you're actually filling the time that is your life. Sometimes, if you're lucky, what you do is fulfilling; it brings out the best in you-your talents, interests, and skills.
We've become professional overthinkers, analyzing every interaction, second-guessing our decisions, and living everywhere except right here, right now. The constant mental chatter is exhausting. Trust me, as someone who once spent an entire weekend mentally rewriting a two-sentence email I'd already sent, I get it. But here's what I've learned: staying present isn't about emptying your mind or achieving some zen-like state of perpetual calm.
When I visited flourishing groups, I noticed that being with them felt different. They possessed a vibrancy, a switched-on responsiveness that showed up in their bodies. Their posture, in general, was relaxed; their heads were up and their interactions were fluid. Aliveness was the word I kept writing in my notebook: a feeling of being carried along in a river of energy that was headed somewhere good.
Last week, I tried to watch a movie without doing anything else. Just watching. No phone, no laptop, no second screen. I made it exactly 12 minutes before my hand started twitching toward my pocket like some kind of digital zombie. And that's when it hit me. This isn't about being lazy or unmotivated. This constant restlessness, this inability to truly relax, it's something else entirely.
On social media, television, and wellness apps, mindfulness is often shown as one simple thing-staying calm and paying attention to the moment. Large companies like Google use mindfulness programs to help employees stay focused and less stressed. Hospitals use it to help people manage pain and improve mental health. Millions of people now use mindfulness apps that promise everything from lowering stress to sleeping better.
If you've ever felt a twinge of guilt or wondered if something's wrong with you for preferring Netflix to nightclubs, I've got news for you: You're actually part of a growing tribe of people who've figured out something others are still searching for. The truth is, those of us who choose quiet nights in over loud nights out often possess qualities that others secretly admire. These are strengths that lead to deeper fulfillment, better relationships, and surprisingly, more success in life.
Digital interfaces, as convenient as they are, bypass many of the sensory pathways that help us process and retain information. Think about it this way: when you write something by hand, your brain engages multiple systems simultaneously. You're planning the movement, feeling the texture of paper, hearing the scratch of pen on page, and seeing the words form. This multi-sensory engagement creates what psychologists call "embodied cognition"-the idea that our physical actions directly influence our thinking patterns.
They are known, as it were, from the neck up. The cellular memory of facts and experiences, however, connects mind and body: My body recalls that showing my true feelings in childhood led to a put-down. A slammed door meant that Dad was home and drunk. The specific fact/event may be forgotten, but the bodily reaction remains: Any slamming noise may induce terror.
Then I tracked my actual output for a month. The real work. The stuff that actually moved the needle on my business. I was getting about 60% of the work done that I used to accomplish before I became so "responsive." Being constantly available had turned me into a human notification center instead of someone who actually created value. Experts backs this up, too. According to the folks at the APA, multitasking can reduce productivity by up to 40%.
Each decade of life comes with its share of pluses and minuses, but there's something special about being in your 40s. You're wiser and more mature than you were in your youth, more comfortable in your skin and you know what you like. Sure, you may not have quite as much energy as you once did. But you're still having a whole lot of fun - it's just that your definition of fun has changed over time.
In astrology, the Moon exists within each of us. She is internal, subjective, intuitive, and felt. She is illuminating of what is both conscious and unconscious, what is ours and what has been inherited. When she exists in a fire sign, we are offered powerful expression, release, and transformation. Fire moves quickly and burns brightly. Under this lunation, so do our emotions.
Remember when Friday nights meant figuring out which party to hit first? Now, I get genuinely thrilled about having zero plans and a new documentary queued up. Last week, I actually canceled drinks to stay home and organize my spice drawer, and the weirdest part? I felt zero FOMO! If you've ever caught yourself getting excited about a new vacuum cleaner or spending Saturday night researching the best mattress for back support, congratulations! You're officially entering that phase of life where "boring" isn't boring anymore.
It's about what happens in those crucial minutes before bed. The psychology behind this makes sense. As behavioral scientists have found, our environment significantly impacts our stress levels and mental clarity. A cluttered space often leads to a cluttered mind. Those who maintain consistently clean homes have figured out that small, nightly rituals prevent the overwhelming buildup that sends the rest of us into cleaning frenzies.
Host Michael Taft speaks with Stephen Snyder Sensei about the two "missing" brahmaviharas, Innate Goodness practice, heart wisdom vs. mind wisdom, the magic of the "group heart", the paradox of the Heart Sutra, learning to become receptive, God and the nondual, entities, bodhisattvas, deities, the three types of forgiveness, and the "terrible importance" of heart-based practice.Stephen Mugen Snyder, Sensei began practicing daily meditation in 1976.
