Awareness, acceptance, and action help in cultivating gratitude, while resistance keeps old defenses dominant. Negative attitudes like resentment and cynicism, formed during childhood, obstruct gratitude. These negative perspectives do not easily fade because they were once protective mechanisms. Even when not needed anymore, they persist and disrupt appreciation for life. Attacking these defenses is futile, as they resist challenges and cling to their roles as protective forces. A non-confrontational approach is necessary to let go of these outdated mental frameworks.
Awareness, acceptance, and action is a useful process for developing gratitude. The enemy of these three A's is resistance, which keeps old defenses as dominant tools for meeting stresses. Old defenses cannot be destroyed by attacking them.
Negative attitudes such as resentment, cynicism, and pessimism block our ability to maintain a grateful perspective on life. These attitudes were often adopted during a difficult childhood to protect against painful feelings.
Defenses resist elimination because they perceive themselves as guardians, having stood by our side in tough times. Our willpower is generally powerless against these vigorous defenses, even when they distort reality.
To divest oneself of outdated defenses, the approach should not involve attacking them. Defenses are narcissistic and actively resist challenges, and attacking them only strengthens their grip.
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