Relationships

Relationships

Many people come to therapy with a goal to work on communication, especially with a partner. The problem, as many see it, is "poor communication," and the goal is to have "better communication." Poor communication can mean a lot of things, including ongoing and repeated conflicts, trouble expressing what we want or need, and avoidant tendencies. Therapy can work out a number of these issues. Understanding our cycle of conflict can create quicker off-ramps to repair.

STUCK IN SILENCE DEAR STUCK: You can't fix something that may not be your fault. However, before calling it quits, you can offer your husband the opportunity to get your marriage back on track with the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist. Schedule an appointment with one, and if your husband refuses to go with you, go alone.

Lauren McCadney had always wanted to live next door to friends or family. In her late 50s, she finally made that happen, though not the way she'd planned. In 2020, Lauren's mother, who had been living with her brother and his family in Frederick, Maryland, died. Lauren, who was going through a difficult divorce and doesn't have children, decided she wanted to be closer to her family and help her brother care for their dad, who was dealing with his own health challenges.

I was thirty-eight years old the first time I stopped performing at Chinese New Year dinner. Not dramatically-I didn't stand up and deliver a monologue about authenticity or announce that I was done pretending. I just stopped smiling when I wasn't amused. I stopped nodding when I disagreed. I stopped telling my aunt that her unsolicited career advice was helpful when it wasn't. I stopped pretending that the version of me sitting at that table was the real one.

Ever notice how the biggest sacrifices we make for our families are often the ones that go completely unnoticed? I've been thinking about this lately, especially as I watch friends navigate their forties and fifties. These are the years when we're supposed to have it all figured out, right? Yet they're also when we quietly give up pieces of ourselves that nobody ever really talks about.

Twenty years ago, a woman sat opposite me on a train and quoted the first line of the book I was reading to me. We talked and talked about books, architecture, family, relationships and haven't stopped since. I assumed I'd never see her again, but she gave me her number and after texting furiously for a week she invited me to stay with her, and our instant intellectual connection became an intense physical one.

Parents in my generation were sold a particular narrative: if you do it right, if you sacrifice enough, if you show up for every game and recital and school function, your adult children will want to be around you. They'll call. They'll remember your birthday. They'll treat you like you matter. That was the premise, the bargain.

I was thinking about this the other day while scrolling through my phone on a Saturday morning, realizing I'd been working for two hours without even noticing. Growing up, my weekends looked nothing like this. There were unspoken rules, traditions that just happened without anyone scheduling them into a calendar app. These weren't grand gestures or expensive activities. They were simple rituals that, looking back now, built something most of us are desperately trying to recreate through therapy apps and self-help books: genuine connection.

When he was eight years old, Markus Lidman realized he was different from the other children in Pitea, a town in northern Sweden. They had all inherited the same pale skin tone as their parents. He, on the other hand, was dark-skinned. I decided to ask them if they were really my parents, and they told me they had adopted me in Colombia in 1982. They sat with me and showed me a video of the orphanage, he recalls.

I have been in a prayer group for a few years now. I enjoy praying and discussing all the ins and outs of the Bible. However, even though spiritually it's enriching, the people are a bit 'meh' - they are a bit of a letdown.

What do we live for if it is not to make life less difficult for each other? Since then, I have never treated my relationships the same. I struggle with depression, which can make maintaining balance in a relationship extremely difficult. But if I can say to myself at the end of the day that I have done one thing just one little thing to make his life better, then I feel as if I haven't failed the day entirely. Brandi, North Carolina

I have been interested in psychology since I was about 14. I wanted to understand myself, my family, and my surroundings. So, becoming a therapist was quite an obvious choice for me. I started working with large groups, then moved to families, then couples. In particular, I was interested in interracial, intercultural, inter-religious couples and families - families in cultural transition. What is sexuality in the culture, and how does it enter into the family culture and the couple's relationship?

On average, single adults in the U.S. report they have fallen in passionate love twice in their life so far, according to a new survey. And 14 percent of the 10,036 respondents said they had never fallen in passionate love at all. The results highlight the diversity of people's experiences with love, says the study's lead author Amanda Gesselman, a psychologist at Indiana University's Kinsey Institute. There's a lot more variation than we really know about, she says.

When Clara first learned that her college crush was getting married, she was heartbroken - because she wished it were the two of them tying the knot. They were friends in college, and this ex soon became Clara's first queer awakening. "[The crush] was strong enough that I had to admit it, or it would eat me alive," Clara, who asked to use a pseudonym for privacy, told HuffPost.

As Valentine's Day approaches, we are once again flooded with the usual suspects: roses, chocolates, sophisticated dinners and glossy ads featuring young heterosexual couples staring earnestly into each other's eyes. The problem isn't just that this version of romance is exclusionary though it is it's that it's profoundly out of step with how love is actually being lived, negotiated and reimagined in contemporary Australia.

After interviewing over 200 people for various articles, I've become hypersensitive to the subtle ways trust builds or breaks in conversation. And here's what I've discovered: we all use phrases that quietly erode trust, often multiple times a day, completely unaware of the damage we're doing to our relationships and credibility. The fascinating part? These aren't obvious lies or manipulative statements. They're everyday phrases that seem harmless but trigger our brain's ancient alarm systems, making people instinctively pull back from us.

I love my fiancée so much that I proposed to her twice. It wasn't because I didn't believe my lover - who is admittedly far out of my league - the first time she said yes, nor was it my pesky perfectionism rearing its demanding head because not every detail went according to plan. Rather, certain aspects of our engagement didn't quite meet our expectations.

When you add up dinner, drinks and gas or ride-shares, dating can cost a small fortune these days. It's become so expensive that a startling number of Americans are willing to take on credit card debt just to afford it. According to a new "loveflation" survey from online billing site Invoice Home, one in four young Americans would consider going into credit card debt to afford dating someone they really liked.

Gone are the days of dimly lit first dates, swiping right and "you up?" texts. This Valentine's Day, San Franciscans went shopping for a different kind of snack at their local Trader Joe's. Based on the number of name tags handed out, nearly 400 singles showed up at the Hayes Valley Trader Joe's on Thursday evening with the hope of finding love - a testament to the allure of forming in-person connections even in the mecca of AI.

Picture this: You're 75 years old, sitting in your living room on a Sunday afternoon. The phone hasn't rung in weeks. Your birthday came and went with just a few obligatory Facebook posts. The grandkids visit out of duty, not desire. You were once the life of every party, the person everyone called for advice, the hub of your social circle. Now? The silence is deafening.

Simply put, "A minimal effort partner is a person who does the bare minimum when it comes to their relationship," Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, relationship expert for the dating app Hily told HuffPost. This is a partner who will put in little work when it comes to the relationship, neglect their partner's needs and give indications that they might not be fully invested in the relationship.

You know what families always say about estranged relatives? "They changed." "They got selfish." "They think they're better than us now." But after years of watching this pattern play out, reading psychology texts on family dynamics, and yes, living through my own complicated family relationships, I've noticed something different. The people who end up distancing themselves from their families often share remarkably similar experiences and traits that have nothing to do with what their families believe.

Valentine's Day is out there with fire, arguing about who forgot what, and pretending not to look at who clicked on your Instagram story. Every year, in a big way, the day reminds us that we are all still very committed to love, maybe even irrationally so.

Maybe you first bonded over shared workplace frustrations. You gradually started finding each other every lunch break and synchronizing trips to the coffee machine. Eventually they become a confidant for venting about your real life outside of work. They become your work spouse. And if you find yourself strolling the greeting card aisle sometime today, you may even feel compelled to get this person in your life a trinket for celebrating the most romantic day of the year. Turns out, there are options available.

We have a shared account for bills and separate personal accounts, but when she has spent the money in her personal account she will just switch over to the shared account. I end up using my personal account for bills frequently. We've talked about this endlessly, we've looked at how much money we're spending, we've done budgets, but she just doesn't stick to it, and my personality does not lend itself to enforcement.