Relationships

Relationships

You're allowed to enjoy nice things. Both elements—the nice things and being allowed them—were equally important. She was a fervent believer in the restorative power of a treat, taking herself out for solo breakfasts most weeks (a bacon muffin and a cup of coffee in the cosseted calm of Bettys Tea Rooms), ordering chips at the slightest provocation, staying in chic hotels she had a pre-internet gift for ferreting out and being coaxed by department store salesladies into buying expensive unguents.

My failure to get married. Well, it's a big deal for a 28-year-old, isn't it? Your, sort of, template for womanhood - you're doing the right thing. Got a lovely boyfriend, he's asked you to marry him, you're getting engaged, and there's going to be a wedding, and you know, it's the right age.

It's so incredible that everyone's getting these opportunities and going out and living their dreams, but my health has held me back from saying 'yes' to a lot of opportunities. It's definitely discouraging and frustrating, and it kind of holds me back in other places in my life, like my marriage with Jace.

At first, I would just chat with it like a normal human being, then started testing its memory. Later, in a stereotypical girl way, I tried to see if it could read between the lines—if it could sense when I meant more than I was saying. It was surprisingly very good at reading between the lines. I personalised it to be flirtatious and assertive.

The moment sex becomes something you owe rather than something you want, the dynamic shifts entirely. It reframes intimacy as a transaction, and that's where things start to go wrong. Sex debt thinking often comes from a place of insecurity or poor communication. Usually, couples have never discussed what sex actually means to them in the context of their relationship.

A 'soft no' is the antithesis to a firm, assertive response. The soft no feels like a nice middle ground between saying yes, which locks you into the plans, and saying no, which can feel harsh or rude in the moment. Instead, you float somewhere in the middle for days, and sometimes even weeks, on end - but this could deliver an even ruder message than a straight-up 'no' to begin with.

If I see someone and I like their hat, shoes, dress, I might say so. People are always chuffed to bits. And when she is feeling sad herself, she tries to do an act of kindness. Even if it doesn't lift her mood, the other person will feel better.

In 1960, 72% of adults were married, and over 90% would go on to marry. HR policies and management practices back then catered to nuclear families with a lone, male breadwinner. Today, dual-career couples and working mothers are common, largely due to the growth of women in the workforce in the second half of the 20th century.

Is it cold in your house? This was revolutionary. I've been freezing in so many homes, but it had never occurred to me to make temperature inquiries in advance so I could wear a thicker jumper or thermals. Even if I'd had the idea, I probably wouldn't have followed through for fear of appearing rude, preferring instead to slowly lose the feeling in my toes. But here was proof that, for a host, this kind of query is welcome after all, most people want their guests to be comfortable and have a nice time.

We're also spending less time with friends. For years, Americans averaged about 6.5 hours a week with friends. Between 2014 and 2019, that number plunged by 37%, to just 4 hours. The year 2014 coincides with a rise in smartphone users.

By that point in our relationship, Al and I recognized that we live completely opposite lifestyles at home. I like creature comforts and wanted my dream lakeside home in Portugal. Al was interested in becoming even more self-sufficient, living off-grid if possible. Al already owned about an acre of land in Portugal. He put a yurt on the land, and now lives there without running water and with only limited solar power.

Yearning can feel deeply romantic in an era of social media and AI, but longing without reciprocation or consent has its risks. It's important to separate desire from reality, otherwise fantasies can be projected onto unwilling partners.

Social anxiety, more often than not, is about inexperience. Most of us only go out for dinner or have an event once a week, and that becomes our entire social outlet. So when we do interact with someone new, it feels high-stakes. You feel pressured to say the perfect thing.

As a postpartum woman, most of the time, I just want my husband to hug me and tell me he's sorry I'm uncomfortable in my new body. I don't always want to hear how attractive he finds me, because I don't see it. Maybe try thanking her for sacrificing her pre-baby body to bring your children into the world. Tell her you appreciate that and love her.