Relationships

Relationships

But psychologists studying long-term couples have discovered something surprising: compatibility isn't the strongest predictor of whether relationships last. Instead, research points to a specific communication style that distinguishes couples who go the distance from those who don't. It's not about how often you communicate, how well you express love, or even how skillfully you resolve conflicts. It's about something more fundamental-a pattern of interaction that either strengthens your bond over time or slowly erodes it.

The man is pleasant and friendly. If I had not known this information, I would have suggested he and his wife get together with my husband and other friends. There are no children in my household, so no one would be endangered by his presence. Should this information about his sex offender status change how I see or respect him? Neither he nor his wife knows that I know, and I don't plan to tell them or anyone else.

I'm going through a divorce, and parts are bitter. The divorce is not my choice, and I never envisioned this as a possibility for my future. My soon-to-be ex has local family with significant financial resources. I do not. I have some savings in a 401(k) and some stock grants from a previous job, but that's about it. I also have a chronic illness that can become severe and expensive at any time. My question involves our young child.

One of my colleagues has the annoying habit of entering my office without knocking. These are not social visits: She invariably needs help with her computer or wants to borrow instructional materials, and she just opens the door and walks in. Before we moved to this building, her office was a few doors down from mine, and she would simply shout for me whenever she needed something. If I didn't respond, she would shout louder.

The culprit? Neuroticism - one of the five major personality traits psychologists use to understand human behavior. This isn't about occasionally feeling anxious or having a bad day. It's about a persistent pattern of emotional instability that creates a toxic cycle in relationships. Researchers Lowell Kelly and James Connelly put it bluntly: "High neuroticism is uniformly bad news in this context." They found that neuroticism doesn't just make relationships harder - it actively undermines them in ways that communication techniques alone can't fix.

I practice what I call breakup therapy - a short-term treatment I developed for couples who want to end their relationships without bitterness. The premise is counterintuitive: Instead of looking forward toward separate futures, we look backward at the relationship itself. It's structured to look at the beginning, middle and end of their time together with exercises that focus on both their gratitude as well as their resentment.

"Well, they could get separate beds. They could put a wall up. They could sleep on the convertible couch," Corcoran told The Wall Street Journal in an interview published on Monday.

As a result of multiple disabilities, my wife may never be able to have sex with me again, or at least not for a long time. She always had a low libido, but recent developments have made sex actively difficult and unpleasant for her. I love my wife and do not wish to divorce her, but this presents a problem for me, because I have a very active libido.

The air feels heavier. And the struggles are changing shape. Beyond my office walls, the world is shifting, and my clients sense the tremors. The things they once trusted, global order, democratic norms, and even their own personal safety, no longer feel solid. They feel brittle, as if one strong wind could bring it all down. And what they're sensing isn't imagined.

When I was eight, my grandmother taught me how to make her famous apple pie. But it wasn't really about the pie. Every Saturday afternoon, we'd stand side by side in her kitchen, her weathered hands guiding mine as we rolled out dough. She'd tell stories about her childhood, ask about my week at school, and somehow make me feel like the most important person in the world.

At its core, premarital counseling is meant to prepare you and your partner for all the challenges that will test your commitment to one another. It's important to explore topics such as finances, family size, and how to manage in-laws before marriage, but we also need to recognize that the plan decided before marriage may not always apply in 5, 10, or 20 years. Premarital counseling can potentially teach you how to communicate effectively and what you need to discuss.

What should you do when a friend shares a dream with you, and you immediately see vital meanings in it that your friend doesn't seem to see? If you are someone who is a naturally insightful dreamer and/or has studied methods of dream interpretation, you may suddenly find yourself in these awkward positions of unequal knowledge and awareness. What's your best approach in responding?

"It means showing up and navigating discomfort by having honest conversations, and it sometimes means choosing your partner when it's hard and doesn't feel super cozy. There's no sweeping music and no perfect lighting - just a partnership that grows stronger the more you actually do the work."

To have a good relationship, you have to put in effort. Your effort should go towards communicating well, for example, learning to bring up concerns in a considerate way and working on listening rather than getting defensive. You should also have the necessary, but uncomfortable, conversations that help a relationship thrive, such as conflict repair discussions and talks that help you work as a team to meet each other's needs.

Growing up, Melissa Shultz sometimes felt like she had two fathers. One version of her dad, she told me, was playful and quick to laugh. He was a compelling storyteller who helped shape her career as a writer, and he gave great bear hugs. He often bought her small gifts: a pink "princess" phone when she was a teen, toys for her sons when she became a mom.

We've all seen it happen: A couple sits across from each other at dinner, and you can feel the tension in the air. She asks what's wrong, and he says "nothing" while his jaw stays clenched and his eyes avoid hers. I used to be that guy. Growing up as the quieter brother, I learned early that keeping thoughts to myself felt safer than speaking up. But what I didn't realize until much later was that this silence was slowly poisoning every relationship I had.

Among the recent messages my husband had sent to her was one in which he told her he was in hell living with me and he didn't give a damn about me. He also asked his sister if he could move in with her! (She was fine with that.) He said he would figure a way out, and that there was always a way out.

But over years of interviewing people for my articles, I've learned something surprising: some of the coldest-seeming people have the warmest hearts. It's counterintuitive, I know. We're taught to read warmth through smiles, enthusiasm, and social ease. But what if I told you that the colleague who seems distant might be the first to notice when you're struggling? Or that your seemingly aloof neighbor could be quietly performing acts of kindness you never see?

He's straitlaced and inexperienced, reeling from the turbulence of his family life and in search of stability. Why is he so easily pulled out of the existence he's been struggling to establish? It is funny that you say Malcolm is searching for stability, because he does find it with the Rajneesh, who, to many, would probably be judged as unstable. Malcolm is feeling disconnected from his community and his father, and, without being very conscious of it, is searching for meaning.

The man I was supposed to marry was someone I had known since childhood - five years older, from a wealthy Sikh family, my sister's classmate, living on the 14th floor of our high-rise building in Mumbai. He was my first crush. When I was 12, with oily braids and Coke-bottle glasses, I thought he was handsome and charming. I spent hours imagining what it would be like if he chose me.

At any point, any of your partners may have been thinking of someone (or even something) else to help themselves get over the edge. The idea of making someone orgasm with, to put it your way, just you is an illusion. People bring a lifetime of experience to the sex they have, including ways to help facilitate orgasm. Sex alone may not be enough to get your wife to come.

Lorraine: I'm so hurt that you said you did not want me to bring Joe, my significant other, to your rehearsal dinner and wedding. I can't believe you would do this to me. Stephanie: Mom, I've explained this to you before. Our wedding is about Joshua and me. It's a once-in-a-lifetime event. Joe is a stranger to us, and we don't want him there. Lorraine: But I was hoping you could meet him and get to know him.

If this has become a social norm, I am as unaware as you are. When guests are invited to a celebration, it is the host's responsibility to treat them unless it is understood when the invitation is issued that everyone will be expected to pay for the meal. The next time this person invites you somewhere, make sure to ask whether you will be splitting the bill. That way there will be no surprises.

The Core Financial Reality Gambling debt (judgments, payday loans, emptied 401k) $150,000 Current household income (single earner) $68,000 Husband's potential income (when recovered) $95,000-$110,000 Additional secured debt (house, vehicles) $142,000 Total debt burden $292,000 The critical issue isn't the debt size, it's the income gap. On Heather's $68,000 salary alone, they're carrying a debt-to-income ratio over 3:1 on gambling debt alone. The $53,000 and $19,000 judgments likely carry 8-12% interest rates, while payday loans typically charge 15-30% APR.

Last week at a dinner party, I watched two of my friends get into a heated discussion about, of all things, whether dishes should be rinsed before going in the dishwasher. What started as playful teasing quickly escalated into accusations about control issues and wasted water. It got me thinking about all those tiny household habits that reveal so much more about us than we realize.

My father kept manuals for products we hadn't owned in years, filed alphabetically in a cabinet. When I asked why, he looked at me like I'd suggested burning money. "What if we need to look something up?" The concept of finding any manual online in seconds just doesn't compute for a generation that had to rely on these paper lifelines.