Relationships
fromPortland Mercury
7 hours agoSAVAGE LOVE: Quickies!
After therapeutic processing of trauma, exploring trauma-linked sexual turn-ons may reveal safe, consensual ways to incorporate them into sex or keep them as fantasy.
I thought he would remain simply "first," but we're happily in love nine years later. Yet, there's one big milestone that we haven't reached: our first time living together. Unlike most couples, we've never shared a space for more than a few weeks. People are always shocked when they hear how long we've been together. The first question they usually ask is, "Why hasn't he proposed yet?" Their eyes widen even more when they find out I'm not going home to him.
After yet another dreary comment about my tits, I kind of rolled my eyes and yawned, and he said, "If you're bored, sweetie, we can always go back to mine." I just replied, "Ew." He replied, "If you Googled me, you'd be dying to come with me." That's when I whipped out my phone and said, "Sure, do I search for the world's biggest douche or is it the world's tiniest dick?" He completely lost it and had to be removed from the premises by the staff at the event, who threatened to call the police.
What if, instead of relying on the consumption of media, you relied on your imagination and your memories? You could reminisce about particularly enjoyable sex you've previously had with your wife, fantasize about sex you might have with her in the future, and use embodiment and mindfulness skills (specifically, the ones that focus on being present in the moment and noticing all the details) to soak up the experiences of the weekly-or-so sex you do get to have with your wife (and bank that for future wanking).
Attorneys Brent and Andrew met in South Bend, Indiana, while Brent was clerking for a federal judge and Andrew was studying law at Notre Dame. Three years after their first date at a local Irish pub, they got engaged on campus. The pair describe their May wedding-decorated in greens, navy, shades of white, and gold-as "traditional, masculine, formal, and joyful." Hydrangeas in the floral arrangements gestured to Brent's grandmother, whose summer yard, he recalls, always burst with the blooms.
Empathy flourishes in relationships that feel safe and nonjudgmental. The human brain resists large demands but cooperates readily with small, manageable ones. When the goal is too big, motivation collapses under the weight of expectation. But when the goal is tiny, the nervous system relaxes long enough to try. When a relational goal feels too big or too inauthentic, the nervous system can perceive it as a heavy load and shut down in response.
A few decades ago I was briefly, unwisely, involved with a young woman, 14 years my junior, whom I met in an online "chat room," way back when those were a thing. A yearlong bicoastal romance ensued, with a few visits back and forth. She was 27 and I was 42. It ended after a year when I neither phoned nor sent flowers on Valentine's Day.
The moon is roaming through dignified Leo this morning, empowering you to express yourself from the heart. When you take pride in your identity, accomplishments, and skills, you'll be less sensitive to criticism and less reliant on praise. By mid-morning, the sun fuses with Venus in mature Capricorn. This devoted energy lasts throughout the day, calling you to make your long-term intentions known or celebrate a recent achievement.
When we first got together, people immediately assumed the reason we were a couple was because my husband had a fat fetish, which is extremely narrow-minded. We still get comments like: 'It must be hard knowing that someone is with you because of your size' or 'Is your husband a feeder?' or 'He wouldn't love you if you lost weight.'
I lost all my contacts. My number has changed, multiple times. I am being encouraged to build upon a false narrative. A false past. A clean slate, a story that is "permissible" to move forward. With those who are less than trustworthy or truthful. No questions are allowed. I did not willingly sign up for this. My current strategy is to survive.
This January 4th, are you ready to go forth and date? The first Sunday of January is known as "Dating Sunday." Every January, on the first Sunday of the month, dating apps typically experience the highest traffic of the year. Devyn Simone, Tinder's resident relationship expert, called it the "Super Bowl" or the "Grammys" of dating; she advised, "If you are single and looking for a partner, utilize Dating Sunday."
I pick her up every day because she's on the way and doesn't drive. We've been late a few times, and our job has a protocol for lateness. My supervisor doesn't keep close tabs on our team's timestamps, so she hardly realized when I was late. My friend's supervisor, however, happened to notice her fourth tardy arrival and gave her a stern warning, per protocol.
The pools varied in size, from giants like Facebook Dating (with its 21 million users) to smaller startups like Sitch, Amata, and Three Day Rule. Sitch and Amata both have raised millions of dollars to build a new style of dating app where, instead of swiping through profiles, you get paired with an AI matchmaker - a chatbot - who brings you new matches.
At this year's Web Summit in Lisbon, Hayden Brown, president and CEO of Upwork, was asked which leadership skills are most in demand today. Her answer was immediate: The demand for soft skills is rising. As AI algorithms increasingly take over routine tasks, the qualities that can't be automated-communication clarity, the ability to work effectively with people, and conflict-resolution skills-are becoming essential for career growth.
Sibling estrangement is not just about not talking to your brother or sister. It has much broader ramifications, as sibling rejection can profoundly shape an individual's personality and their roles in the family. The estranged may lose the opportunity to be a sibling, in-law, aunt or uncle, and even son or daughter, as estrangement often metastasizes and family members choose sides. These shifting alliances may contribute to greater alienation.
When we reunited on the plane, I expected my husband to be a little testy. I wouldn't have blamed him for being upset. While I started my vacation early in a quiet corner with unlimited food and drinks, he was stuck in the terminal with the masses. Yet, against all odds, he was content and in a good mood. We were both more relaxed than we usually are on travel days, and we wondered whether separating at the airport should become a habit.
Doubts are normal in relationships, but persistent doubts might signal deeper incompatibility or that your partner may not be right for you. It's not uncommon for my clients to ask, with desperation in their eyes, "Should I end this relationship? How do I know if I should end it?" No one can answer this question but you. And how annoying that is not lost on me.
If you cast your mind back, you probably know that there initially seemed to be tension between Victoria Beckham and Nicola shortly after her and Brooklyn's 2023 wedding. However, when 2024 kicked off, the family appeared to be a united front and were on good terms... For about a year. Whew. What do you make of the whole situation? Let me know in the comments below!
Your tarot card for New Year's Day is the Queen of Wands, which represents sparkly, positive qualities like confidence, passion, charisma, optimism, and determination. This one's for everyone who celebrated exactly how they wanted to last night. Did you dance 'til dawn? Kiss your date at midnight? Go to bed by nine? Queen energy means following your own path.