Relationships

Relationships

Hoovering isn't about genuine love or reconnection. It's a manipulation tactic used by narcissists or emotionally abusive partners to regain control once they sense you're leaving or have moved on. This behavior can happen days, months, or even years after the breakup. It often starts when the narcissist feels lonely or threatened, or isn't getting any "narcissistic supply" or attention from their usual sources. The Psychology Behind Hoovering Narcissists seek control and power over you. When you go no-contact or start to rebuild a life separate from them, it challenges the narcissist's fragile self-esteem.

If you're using condoms, go for non-lubricated, traditional latex. They're often too drying for a lot of people, but in your case, I think the downside might actually be a positive. If you aren't using condoms, you can finish up foreplay with some deep fingering, kind of scoop on your way out, and wipe your hand on anything appropriate and available. This might be a small towel, or it might be your own thigh.

Repeat. Your wife is not asking you to drive around with her human anatomy-resembling art plastered to your back windshield for the world to see. This is your home! The reaction of your family-whispering, "Are you aware of the resemblance?" not screaming, "Oh my god, there's a butthole over the fireplace!"-actually proves that her artistic intention was clear. It's a flower with some unfortunate qualities. Nobody actually thinks you have pornography hanging above the mantel.

I tried to plan everything myself to make the visit special, but I ended up waiting too long. Now the prices are sky-high completely out of my budget and I'm panicking. I feel embarrassed because I had plenty of time to prepare, and I don't want my parents to think I'm irresponsible or that I don't care about making their trip enjoyable.

But when our second child was born nine years ago, we weren't 100 percent sure we were done, so I got another IUD. We decided pretty quickly that two kids were enough, but we also decided there was no point in a vasectomy, because I already had a reliable form of birth control that would last until I was 47.

One of the best parts about the holidays is getting to enjoy all the fun traditions. Whether you do Elf on a Shelf each year, host an annual Hallmark movie marathon, or always order Chinese food from the same restaurant every Christmas, traditions keep the holiday magic alive. So, we're dying to know: What's a holiday tradition your family did growing up that you now realize is actually suuuper weird?

Although hosting friends and family for the holidays can be fun, there's no denying that doing so also comes with its fair share of stress. Without proper planning, things can even get chaotic. To avoid making etiquette mistakes in the process, Business Insider asked two experts to share the top mistakes they see people make when hosting. Here's what they said.

When strangers interact, they underestimate how liked they are by one another. When we are vulnerable, we underestimate just how positively people view our vulnerability. When we reach out to friends, they appreciate it more than we think. One of the most effective ways I encourage people to try to make friends is by showing them that it won't be as uncomfortable as they think.

You lied to your husband for 30 years, and now you're upset he's revising his estate plan?You need to accept that you don't get to control how John processes this betrayal. And let's be clear about something else: Removing Julie from the will isn't just about "family bloodlines"-it's John punishing an innocent person for your choices. Julie deserves better from both of you.

I can never be upset about anything. Anytime, and I mean ANYtime I bring up something that upsets me, it gets turned around into how whatever she did that upset me is my fault. I end up fuming, but then ultimately apologize so that I can keep some semblance of peace. I'm not respected. I'm not desired. For a significant portion of the year when she coaches, I'm invisible. I try to express what I need physically, and it's usually ignored. Need I go on?

Raya is a members-only dating app. Daters must submit an application to get behind the app's golden gates, which includes linking your Instagram profile. Getting a recommendation from a current Raya member can be helpful. I had all of that: the public Instagram, the referral from a friend, and a willingness to pay Raya's $24.99 monthly fee (or $49.99 for premium features). It still took me months to get accepted.

Perhaps you have moments when you hesitate to share how you really feel, or you find yourself questioning whether what you have is genuine intimacy or just a peaceful routine. These are common questions, especially if you grew up in a family where emotions were ignored, dismissed, or handled inconsistently ( childhood emotional neglect). When your early environment teaches you to stay quiet about your feelings, you become skilled at functioning without emotional connection.

When I was 10, my dad had a midlife crisis, and, without warning the family, he quit his job to "find himself." My parents had three kids plus a baby, and my mom hadn't been in the workforce for years. It was financially devastating. She ended up divorcing him eventually, but it was bad. Now I'm getting married, and this childhood experience, along with something particular in my husband's past, have led me to make a certain request of my fiancé.

Your card for the week is the Two of Pentacles, which represents balance, flexibility, and the need to adapt. It's the perfect card to keep in mind during the holiday season, especially if you feel like you're being pulled in multiple directions. When this card pops up in a tarot reading, it's often a sign that you have two (or more) important things to juggle.

It's worth doing what you're doing now-refusing sex and sleeping in separate rooms-while you sort out your feelings. Sometimes, it's unfair to judge people based on their worst behavior; at other times, the worst behavior is so scarring that it ends up defining the relationship for us, like it or not. Now is the time to take stock. Is the relationship otherwise loving, with open communication and a strong sense of equality/both partners' needs being met?

When previous relationships intrude on new beginnings, couples face decisions that reveal character more than spreadsheets. Financial advantages mean nothing if emotional foundations crack. On a December 10 episode of The Dave Ramsey Show, a caller and realtor from San Francisco shared her uncomfortable situation. Getting married at the end of December, she faces moving into her fiancé's rental where his ex-wife's name remains on the month-to-month lease despite multiple attempts at removal and court orders.

"Pack light if you are visiting and treat your guest room as you would your own home," advised Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert, the author of " Modern Etiquette for a Better Life " and the founder of The Protocol School of Texas. "Pick up wet towels. Don't put a glass on the nightstand without a coaster. And be respectful of electricity and water consumption."

Your words are not going to make this OK. He needs to find some kind of solace within. It can be difficult to resist absorbing the preoccupations of a partner, but I think it's reasonable to distance yourself here. Chalk this up to a quirk or undesirable habit or hobby even and ask that he do his incessant measuring in private. This is his journey and you shouldn't get in his way.

I broke off my engagement to my beloved fiancé, "Tristan," in November. Everyone else in my family loves him. I'm pretty sure some of my aunts and uncles love him more than they love me. I told my closest people personally and sent out formal cancellations to everyone else who got a save-the-date. But I haven't seen extended family or childhood friends since I did this, and I will be going home for Christmas. I'm worried everyone's going to be really invasive and weird, especially because I'm embarrassed about the final straw that made me end it. I absolutely should have seen this earlier.

Customarily, any reference to generosity brings to mind a magnanimous propensity for giving material gifts. Flowers, trips, money, or an automobile can be expressions of generosity. However, it may be extremely limiting to understand generosity as the offering of material gifts. Emotional generosity can be highly supportive of creating emotional intimacy in a committed relationship. Or it can be a dynamic energy that fosters greater rapport at work.

Two best friends in Alabama became pregnant with twins and triplets at the same time. Their shared experience of parenting multiples created a strong support system for both families. Living close together, they help each other manage the challenges of raising five young children. This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation Madison Knight. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Last summer, I got a promotion and started traveling more for work. We were having less sex and after a few months, my boyfriend brought up opening up the relationship. I agreed because we both felt like it would bring us closer while allowing us other sexual opportunities, especially when we're not in the same place. He's always found it hot to fantasize about me with other people, and I'm bi, so I enjoy getting to sleep with people of other genders again.

We're pretty happy; we laugh at the same things, and there's a lot of camaraderie, but sometimes, I don't feel listened to. We have a 'loud house' in that my husband is a talker and likes to bring up whatever's on his mind the moment it pops into his head. I could be pooping, and I'll hear, 'Honey! Are you there? I want to tell you something!' It's a lot.

I wrote something short (less than a page) that I thought was truthful and adequate. I inserted my name in the signature block but did not sign it. I told him he could edit it, expecting he would send me the edited version. He added text about projects we'd worked on together, plus awards he'd gotten and been nominated for. The day of the application deadline, I wrote him for the edited version and learned that he'd submitted it.

Mom worked for almost two decades after her divorce, but could not financially make up for the years she spent as a housewife. The low-paying jobs she had while married - cleaner, waitress, and such - counteracted her higher income as an administrative assistant. She ended up grossing $575.00 a month from social security, despite the fact that she could have drawn against my father's social security allotment for more than double that amount.

Lazy Love Hearing "I love you" may soothe us in the moment, but it's often the easy part of a relationship. Love is a blessing and a beautiful beginning, but that's when the deeper work starts. A common romantic view is that love alone will carry us through every rough patch. Yet experience-and research-suggests otherwise. Love doesn't automatically or magically create the emotional safety and connection required for a relationship to thrive.

Listen, if we all waited until we were fully healed, evolved, and spiritually polished, the planet would be a monastery. You don't have to be perfect to be in a relationship. You don't have to purge every childhood wound or meditate yourself into sainthood. You don't have to finish the book, the course, the cleanse, or the shadow-work workbook with all the gold stars.

Trying to conceptualize love - to understand it, define it, or finally get it right in your own life - can feel like a complicated game you never quite win. People often try to read or reflect on the promise to try to do things differently. Yet, somehow, the same patterns can seem to circle back. It's not that you don't want love or that you're not ready for it. Unconsciously, you may have built habits that keep you safe but also keep you stuck.