At the end of every school year, many parents ask me to write a personal note to their student as an inscription in a certain children's book. They request this of all of their kids' teachers, then give the book as a graduation gift. It's a cute idea, but what it amounts to is a large stack of paperwork at a time of the school year when I'm already drowning in paperwork.
The punishment doesn't fit the crime. Banishment is too extreme. However, it's worth looking at what's happening outside of the frame. First, the word disrespectful was tossed around a lot. Is it possible that your daughter-in-law felt you were criticizing her parenting in an unwarranted way? This isn't to say that the kids should have been punching their uncle. It wouldn't have been my choice. But Uncle Rick also has bodily autonomy and may have chosen not to stop them because he didn't mind.
which he wrote after a friend told him that he'd been messaging a woman every day for months. But we didn't sleep together, no way I respect my girlfriend, the friend clarified. What other situations can involve cheating? When the avenues for contacting others be they acquaintances or strangers are endless, and when we have direct access to countless photos and videos of other people (whether they're normal, suggestive, or explicit) how is the concept of fidelity altered in 2025?
He approached my wife and me and said, We're not into social media. I did not glean from this that he meant we should post nothing at all. To share the good news with my friends, I did post one photo. Late the next night he texted us to take it down, saying, We asked you directly not to do this. I replied, I'm sorry, I didn't understand that I was not to post anything at all.
How your partner interprets silence is one easy way to tell how intelligent they are. Some might see a partner's silence as a personal attack and immediately default to panic, while others reserve judgment and are more inclined to give space. That small difference between taking things personally and seeing them in context is the essence of relational intelligence.
The manager curtly pointed out that everyone there had specifically asked to work that day, and I realized that most of the employees either needed the paycheck (hourly workers aren't typically paid for national holidays if they don't work) or wanted to escape their various home situations. I left the coffee shop thoroughly embarrassed about my entitled assumption that everyone would want the day off and should be given the day off without having a say in the matter.
Most of us think of suffering as something to eliminate, avoid, or fix. But what if conflict, especially in our relationships, is actually an invitation? What if the moments that stress us most hold within them the potential for exercising our heart's capacity for compassion, connection, expansion, and intimacy? When we respond to our own or another's pain with care rather than judgment, something extraordinary happens.
For my parents, it was a goldmine. People were starved of luxury for almost 30 years, and they were hungry to discover the world and everything it had to offer. I was 8 years old at the time, and I remember when my parents told my younger siblings and me that we would be moving. My heart sank. I just started primary school and had to leave my friends behind and start over again. The worst part, though, was that I had to leave my grandpa behind. I remember missing him so much, even though we visited him a couple of times a year.
We spent hours together and helped each other sort out our problems. He knew more about me than my wife. With no explanation, he stopped responding to texts and messages and is ignoring my calls. I have come to terms with this and deleted him from my social media and social circles. It's been two years now. The problem is my wife. Everyone else in my family has removed him from their social circles.
I am a medical student in my 30s. I live with my boyfriend, "John," who is a registered nurse. Neither of us have student loans or debt other than our credit card. My father still helps me with expenses-not a lot, but I have always had an "allowance." John pays for all the house expenses, as I don't really "work." I do part-time side jobs, but I do pay
From keeping your purse off the floor to skipping chicken on New Year's Day, these family superstitions didn't fade - they stuck. Call them cultural traditions, old wives' tales, or just "I'm not risking it." They promise good luck, ward off "the devil," and trace how beliefs travel from grandparents to Gen Z'ers. As bizarre as some of them sound, we keep them for the same reason we keep family recipes: they were handed down with love, warnings, and a little drama.
Unhealthy marriages can take many forms, and understanding the core behaviors of emotional abuse in a relationship is the first step toward reclaiming your confidence. As a divorce attorney, I've unfortunately seen firsthand how emotional abuse can erode a person's sense of self-worth and well-being. I've witnessed too often the devastating toll that abusive marriages can take on a spouse. The reality is that psychological mistreatment can be just as damaging as physical abuse. It often leaves deep, lasting scars.
For many years I was also on the receiving end of gifts that were lovingly wrapped and gifted. I understand that for many people the best part of Christmas is to send a beautifully wrapped and thoughtful gift. I've discovered that when people ask, What do you want? or I need a list for you/your family, it's coming from a place of love, not to terrorize you.
With my (and my partner's) current living situation, the only time I'm able to engage with erotica/masturbate/be intimate with my partner is quite late at night. I usually end up going to bed shortly after. Now, whenever I engage in intimacy, or even so much as daydream about it, I get suddenly very sleepy. While it's a not-so-neat party trick to fall asleep quickly, it also means I struggle with staying engaged and having energy during sex. As soon as I get turned on, I just feel so... cozy.
I'm struggling with something I feel guilty even saying out loud: Watching my parents age is breaking my heart. I'm incredibly lucky as my parents had me when they were young. My mom just turned 60, and my dad is right behind her. But despite their age, they seem so much older than they should be. They give everything they have to their jobs during the day, and then come home only to collapse in front of the TV, eating DoorDash night after night.
We are bringing our popular 50+ Mixers to Los Gatos for the first time, at the stunning Winston Champagne Bar! Celebrate the Holidays with new single friends. ONLY 20 spots for men and 20 spots for women available. Join a sophisticated crowd, enjoy a gorgeous venue, and make connections effortlessly with our FUN Mixer Game! It's the perfect opportunity to meet new friends and make lasting connections. Festive holiday attire recommended.
Well, yes mom. I did. Why? I didn't know how to say no. Hell, "no" wasn't even in my repertoire. I did whatever I needed to keep the peace. Keep a good GPA. Keep money in my bank account. But now my inability to set a boundary when it came to honoring my own happiness was officially catching up. After six years of marriage, the truth of never wanting an "I do" in the first place had crept up in a myriad of ways,
When desire fades or the bedroom grows silent, we often point to the surface- boredom, stress, a lack of spark. But let me tell you, sexual problems are rarely about sex alone. Sometimes, they're about unresolved trauma -a quiet force that shapes how we love, touch, and connect. It's the shadow we don't see, but it moves us all the same. It makes decisions for us that we're not aware of.
It takes a matter of minutes for me to walk from my apartment to Dad's because we live on different floors of the same building. He's extremely independent at 88 - our family calls him our "super ager" - but we know that he will rely on us a lot more as time goes by. In 2020, when my 82-year-old mother reached the end of her life due to cancer, I said to her, "Mom, I've got Dad."
Growing up, I was teased a lot by my sister and mother; they would point out how I looked different from them and distort their faces to look like mine to mock me. One running joke is that I was the "Asian milkman's" daughter because I have a partial epicanthic fold, and they didn't. Turns out, I actually AM my father's child, and the reason that I looked different from my sister is because she wasn't!
This entire year has been a struggle for me. I'm a freelancer, and business is down dramatically. I can hardly pay my bills. I rarely talk about it, but the holidays are approaching, and I cannot show up the way I usually do with gifts for everyone. I barely have the cash to get to my hometown to be with the family. The thing is, everyone thinks of me as the successful one, the one who moved to the big city and made it.
Kim (not her real name) and I bonded when our sons played on the same travel basketball team. For years, we spent weekend after weekend together in loud, testosterone-filled gyms, rife with the smell of boy sweat and breakfast sandwiches. We always sat in the same place on the unforgiving bleachers, midway up in the center, and picked up our conversation from where we left off at the previous practice or game.
My husband and I have been together since university and married seven years. We had a business windfall last year, and we chose to spend some of it on my family. We took everyone in my family on an overseas trip, all expenses paid. And when my sister had her first baby, we were able to gift her $10,000 towards establishing a college fund.
It's been seven years since we were with my family on Christmas Day. Two of those years we were hunkered down at home with a newborn/about to give birth. The other five years we have spent with my husband's family. My father-in-law has been terminally ill for 12 years, and it's a miracle that he has lived this long. We've truly thought that every year has been his last Christmas, but this year, I really think it's his last.
Reset is the fifth and final step in the PACER model we developed, as described in our book Love. Crash. Rebuild.. It's the point at which couples recognize that the relationship they are stepping back into is not the same one that ruptured-because they themselves have changed. Reset marks the moment when new patterns begin to replace old ones and the couple can experience their relationship as something distinct, something shared, something more resilient than before.
Parting with a lot of expensive wine is the cost of hosting Harry. Although his liver would probably appreciate it, placing any limits on what he's allowed to consume would be rude and decidedly non-festive. So here's what you're going to do: Open one bottle of the good stuff, or as much as you need to pour everyone a glass. When that's gone, switch to bottles you don't care about-perhaps
As a mom of six, Christmas used to feel like a pressure cooker. Every year, I tried to create the "perfect" holiday - the ideal gifts, the matching pajamas, the Instagram-worthy stockings. I spent December weekends navigating store aisles, scrolling for deals, or stressing that I wasn't doing enough. By the time Christmas morning finally came, I was exhausted, financially stretched, and secretly relieved when it was all over.
GENTLE READER: Make three signs that you can hold up when getting on the phone. The first reads, Quiet, Please. Important Source. The second says, Quiet, Please. Less Important Source, But Still Need to Hear. The last reads, Quiet, Please. None of Your Business. In addition to this but equally important Miss Manners recommends recruiting a fellow reporter or two who are willing to help shoo people out when the sign goes up.
It should have been a red flag when she walked up to the altar beside her son and said, 'You don't have to do this.' Eventually, he told her to sit, and we finished the wedding. She went through my drawers and complained to him about my pricey underwear, only to find out they had been a gift from him.
In Becky's* case, her ex-partner had seemed like the best thing since sliced bread when they first met and she was just 18 years old. He would buy her gifts, take her on fancy holidays and encouraged her to move in with him after six months of dating. Given that he had a decent job and had taken control of the household bills, she was unaware that he was avoiding paying council tax and was racking up significant debts in her name.
On the untangling difficulty scale, this is much closer to untangling a sheet that's become twisted in the dryer than it is to untangling a tiny chain necklace that's fused with another tiny chain necklace at the bottom of your jewelry box. You don't even need (metaphorical) tweezers and a show to watch while you complete the task. This is simple.
Most people in relationships try to strike a delicate balance between being their real selves and their best selves. You want to show your partner who you truly are, but you also want to protect how they see you. You want to be honest, but not too raw. You want to admit to your mistakes, but not lose face. This inner tug-of-war can lead us to do strange things.
