Do These 2 Things Consistently and Get Along With Anyone

"Almost everyone knows how to be kind to others when conditions are favorable. The benefits of being nice to others can only be reaped when the behavior is consistent. Some struggle to be kind to others when conflicts arise, when they are frustrated, or when they do not feel well. Learning how to be kind to others under these circumstances is essential to quality relationships."

"Treating others kindly in some circumstances and unkindly in others, depending on the circumstances, is transactional. It destabilizes the relationship due to the high level of variability introduced by circumstance. When others are not sure whether or not you will be kind on any given day, it increases their anxiety and undermines their ability to trust you."

"Treating others with kindness during conflict, frustration, or when you are not feeling well does not mean giving in to them or subordinating your needs to theirs. It also does not mean that you cannot express your feelings to others. The key to consistent kindness requires relinquishing the need for validation from others."

Successful relationships depend on two fundamental behaviors: consistent kindness and truthfulness. Many people naturally exhibit these patterns, while others struggle due to inconsistency. The challenge intensifies during conflicts, frustration, or illness when kindness becomes difficult. Transactional relationships—where kindness varies by circumstance—destabilize trust and increase anxiety in others. Inconsistent treatment makes people uncertain about how they will be treated, undermining comfort and security even during kind moments. Maintaining kindness during conflict does not require surrendering personal needs or suppressing feelings. Instead, it demands releasing the need for validation from others, enabling genuine, stable connection regardless of circumstances.

Read at Psychology Today