Emotional labor is the work that underpins our lives. It's the thought and care that goes into everything, from what meals to make to what discipline style to use to deciding the best time to have a hard conversation. Emotional labor is what creates and nurtures communities and connections, and it's present in every interaction we have. What is emotional labor? In 1983, Arlie Russell Hochschild, the same sociologist who defined "the second shift," also coined the term "emotional labor."
When we first got together, people immediately assumed the reason we were a couple was because my husband had a fat fetish, which is extremely narrow-minded. We still get comments like: 'It must be hard knowing that someone is with you because of your size' or 'Is your husband a feeder?' or 'He wouldn't love you if you lost weight.'
When was the last time you asked yourself: Why am I in this relationship?Is it because you genuinely want to be with this person, or because what they offer feels safe, stable, or hard to walk away from? When those reasons blur, and when you stay just because you always have, anger builds quietly inside. Irritations flare for no reason. Conflicts appear out of nowhere. And, slowly, you feel lost in your own relationship without knowing why.
Online, users warn that a partner's lack of swag can rub off on you and complain about how odd it looks when couples lack any aesthetic cohesion. Yes, there are real downsides to constant proximity to someone with weak stylistic sensibilities. Humiliation, for one, if they show up under- or overdressed to something that matters to you. Showing up appropriately is, after, all, a form of respect.
Most couples believe their recurring conflicts revolve around the issue at hand-what was said, what was forgotten, what should have happened differently. But in our work as clinicians, and in our own relationship, we've learned that it's not only the content of the conflict that matters. How partners respond to the conflict plays an equally important role in how quickly-and how well-they recover.
One of my specialties is working with clients in individual therapy in combination with their experience in couples therapy. Oftentimes, when two people engage in couples therapy, the work starts out on communication and relationship dynamics, but eventually, we get to a point where we realize that the work that really needs to be done to improve the relationship is individual work.
You say it's cozy; I say it's messy. You like it faster; I say it's already fast. You call it colorful self-expression; I call it tastelessly garish. And you want lavish gifts, while I want to give you... not-so-lavish gifts. I prefer celebrating you with loving words. Thoughtful, intimate gestures. Fun little surprises. Keeping my agreements. Reminding you to take your medicine. Holding my hand when we're with other people.
Instead of making a straightforward request or voicing a direct want, someone who is dry begging hints at a need or makes a vague complaint, Cetnar added. So, instead of stating, "I wish we spent more time together," someone who is dry begging may say, "Oh, I guess I'll just stay home with the cat" - they're hinting at their displeasure instead of addressing it.
One evening in October 2023, I went outside to check the mailbox in our Florida suburb and found a white hearse parked in our driveway. Beneath the moonlight, it glittered like a ghostly apparition. I froze and wondered if death had finally come for us. We'd each recently battled life-threatening health challenges. I'd survived a brain tumor while Tomer had undergone open-heart surgery. We were still in our 40s, and while medical intervention had bought us more time, my anxiety continued to soar.
Children can be, and usually are, demanding. A parent may recall their fussy child's tantrums over a particular meal or toy, remembering the challenge of getting it just right. Children expect, and rightfully so, their parents to know what's good for them, even when they don't know themselves. Ultimately, it's the parent's responsibility to calm, which all of us accept as the natural state of things.
For a reality dating show with an experimental premise, Love Is Blind has always been pretty traditionalist. Its entire purpose is the pursuit of heterosexual marriage. Separated by gender, contestants date one-on-one in "pods" without seeing each other. When it comes time for engagement, the men do all the proposing, and from then on the show is an arrow hurtling toward the altar.
According to psychologists, it's a phenomenon called 'mate choice copying' and it's something that's developed throughout human evolution, meaning people don't just randomly choose to break up happy couples. Multiple studies have observed how people and animals, such as fish, birds, and primates, seem more desirable to others when they've already been chosen by a mate. Women were more likely to experience mate choice copying because of the evolutionary pressures of mate selection and the drive to have children.
Many people feel puzzled by the actions of narcissists. One moment, you feel safe with having someone so charming, generous, and supportive close to you. Then, suddenly, their wonderfulness shifts to something sharp, jolting, and painful. It can feel like a wasp stinging you emotionally, over and over again, rattling your sense of security. As a therapist, I often encounter clients blaming themselves in the aftermath of a conflict with someone with narcissistic traits.
Are you consistent in how you love people? Probably! Maybe you're aware of it or maybe it's known only by the people you love, but chances are you tend to love people in a certain way. We all do. Our ways of loving might echo how we moved through childhood and early adolescence; they may align with our personalities and goals; they might respond to our cultural context. Critically, the way you love is no accident. It is a reflection of who you are.
Sex remains a vital part of my happiness, yet balancing motherhood with self-care makes it challenging to find the mood for intimacy. Scheduling intimate moments aids in rekindling desire.
Your boyfriend's insecurity about your increased income reflects selfishness rather than support. He seems unable to handle your success, indicating deeper issues in your relationship.
In the last year, sexual intimacy has drastically declined, with only occasional handjobs due to her ongoing struggles with perimenopause and the complexities in the relationship.
Throughout the first half of Season 3, Carrie has emphasized two particular things within her home: the glass dining table she found on 1stDibs, which she thought represented her and Aidan's relationship, and the unique glass window that Aidan accidentally shattered when he was throwing rocks at her window, completely fumbling his surprise romantic gesture.
Financial issues are one of the top complaints that couples have. Our attitudes to money can vary widely, and often a 50/50 split is attempted but fails in real life.
