The turtle technique is often introduced to children to help them manage strong emotions, guiding them to pause, breathe, and step back before reacting. It sounds simple, yet it carries depth when practiced with intention.
That's how long our physiological response to emotions such as anger lasts, from the time we formulate a thought to the point at which our blood is completely clean of the noradrenaline released in response to it. If you're still experiencing emotional reactions after 90 seconds, you're rethinking the thoughts.
What research actually shows is that emotional regulation is a skill - one that's forged, not gifted. A landmark study published in Emotion Review found that the ability to manage emotional responses depends heavily on practiced cognitive strategies like reappraisal and attentional deployment. In other words, the people who seem unbothered have usually trained themselves to reframe what's happening before the emotional cascade even starts.
Distress tolerance is the perception and ability to tolerate emotional discomfort without allowing it to derail your actions (or your relationships). When we believe we can make space for challenging emotions, our behavior isn't focused on getting rid of them. This then opens us up to responding in ways that align with our values.
As Americans feel increasingly pessimistic about the future, the pressure to "stay positive" has never been more intense-or misplaced. Psychology has long shown that suppressing difficult emotions does not make them disappear. It makes the nervous system more reactive. When sadness, fear, and anger are treated as problems to eliminate rather than signals to understand, the brain remains on high alert. This is one reason forced positivity so often backfires, amplifying anxiety rather than easing it.
For many people, feelings can get intense and out of control very quickly. While our feelings are always important and meaningful, our responses to whatever provoked the feelings aren't always responses that are in our best interests. By learning how to self-calm in the moment, you might spare yourself the unwanted consequences of acting too quickly when provoked. The process of managing our emotional responses so that we can return to a state of calm and make our best decisions is called emotional regulation.
Growing up, I became an expert at reading the room before I even knew what that meant. When my parents' voices would rise from the kitchen, I'd already be mentally preparing my peacekeeping strategy. Should I crack a joke to break the tension? Distract them with a question about homework? Or maybe just quietly start doing the dishes to remind them I was there? By the time they divorced when I was twelve, I'd spent years perfecting the art of emotional regulation.
Teens can retreat into themselves when they find themselves confronted by difficult emotional circumstances. At times it is important and constructive to leave them to themselves as they adjust to these challenges. Parents often find it emotionally troubling to watch as their child has difficulty and want to fix things. It is important for the development of independence that a child be left to learn how to work things out.
We live in a fast-paced world that glorifies productivity. That often means prioritizing work ahead of your mental health or even your personal life. There's a constant push to do more, achieve more, and get it done more quickly - and the clock starts ticking the moment you wake up. It's hard to break free from this mindset and put yourself first, often leading to burnout. Enter morning journaling.
