How Gaslighters Con Their Partners into Believing Them

"Gaslighting occurs when the memory slip isn't just some innocent moment of forgetfulness. People who gaslight do this deliberately, knowing full well that the version of events they'd have you believe is not the version of events that truly happened."

"Research on memory has established quite solidly the fact that recall of the past is subject to a variety of distortions. Apart from simple forgetting, people tend to shave off unpleasant features of past experiences to make themselves look better. It's also remarkably easy to confuse who said what and when in social situations."

Gaslighting involves deliberately manipulating someone by convincing them their memories are incorrect, exploiting the natural fallibility of human memory. Research confirms that memory recall is subject to various distortions beyond simple forgetting—people unconsciously reshape past experiences to present themselves favorably and easily confuse details in social situations. Unlike innocent memory errors, gaslighting is intentional deception where the manipulator knows their version of events is false. A new study from the University of Sydney examines how people in close relationships tend to believe misinformation that aligns with larger narratives. Understanding memory's inherent limitations is crucial for recognizing and counteracting gaslighting tactics used by manipulative partners.

Read at Psychology Today