#adult-children

#adult-children

Recently, I have had many conversations with many clients and friends discussing what happened to their family connection. As a family therapist and parent, I've spent decades helping people navigate the challenges of family life. I notice adult children and their families are drifting apart, as strong ties once counted on now seem to be coming undone. I hear it every week in my therapy sessions.

Now, my dad and "Britney" now have a son who is a little under a year old. He and Britney are forever after me to take him for the afternoon or even most of the day, supposedly so we can form a sibling bond. I suspect they are trying to use me as free child care and have steadfastly refused, which has angered them to no end.

Based on my years of coaching parents of entitled adult children, I see the emotional toll parents pay when anticipating the next crisis that pops up on their text messages or literally on their doorstep. Perhaps it is a pressured plea for financial support laden with irrational reasoning ("You never did crap for me, so now I need you to step up for me, finally"). Or, possibly, the torment stems from their adult child's refusal to take responsibility for their actions.

You were correct to avoid an unpleasant conversation, particularly because you sensed (rightly) that he wouldn't take your message well.