"No parent imagines being disrespected by their adult child. Yet each week in parent coaching sessions, I hear about good, loving parents who feel blindsided when their adult son or daughter pulls away, lashes out, or treats them as if they are the problem. Sure, you made mistakes as a parent, but assuming your heart has been in the right place, just remember that the only perfect people are in the cemetery."
"Most of the time, your adult child's anger is not directly about you. It is about their unresolved pain and emotional struggles from which they can't seem to free themselves. As I wrote in my book, 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, the two most crucial skills for children of any age, including adult ones, are the ability to calm down and solve problems."
Being treated dismissively or harshly by an adult child feels jarring and painful for most parents. Such behavior often reflects the adult child's unresolved pain and emotional struggles rather than parental failure. Many struggling, reactive adult children lack skills to calm themselves and solve problems, leading them to shut down or blow up. Their anger frequently masks vulnerability they cannot yet manage. Parents can respond with compassion and dignity while maintaining boundaries and self-worth. Staying grounded requires recognizing personal value and not allowing harsh words or tone to define self-worth.
Read at Psychology Today
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