"I love my adult child deeply, but I often feel devalued, disrespected, and drained. These parents are like the walking wounded, stumbling to avoid eggshells. They are trying to maintain harmony, but sadly, it is usually at the cost of their mental health. I even hear, "Dr. Jeff, what if I lose them. I will never forgive myself if they pull away and never want to speak to me again." This deep-seated fear of losing connection keeps these parents overthinking, overgiving, overexplaining, and overaccommodating."
"The Hard Truth As I explain in my book, 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, the reality is that constant appeasement erodes healthy love more than healthy limits ever will. It is time to look yourself in the mirror and say, "Enough!" I have seven words to help you say, "Enough." This powerful seven-word phrase is a shield to protect you from the pain of being walked all over:"
Parents of struggling adult children often feel devalued, disrespected, and emotionally drained, and they may sacrifice their own mental health to preserve connection. Fear of losing the relationship drives overthinking, overgiving, overexplaining, and overaccommodating, which ultimately erodes healthy love. Constant appeasement undermines healthy limits and dignity more than firm boundaries do. A concise, seven-word boundary—"I won't trade peace for your approval"—functions as a protective shield, restoring courage, strength, and calm. That phrase affirms the right to constructive, peaceful dialogue and signals refusal to exchange inner peace for another's approval or emotional demands.
Read at Psychology Today
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