In college, my girlfriend cheated on me with a much older, dad bod-type guy. She told me about it, which was nice, and she felt awful, which was also nice, but I felt this weird, unexpected combination of hurt and arousal. I'd think about them together, and I'd feel sick, but I'd get hard. My mind would wander there when I'd masturbate, and the orgasms
Seven months before I met Viv, my marriage had just ended and I was having the best sex of my life with a good friend. Mindblowing, incredible sex where I discovered that I was into being demeaned and flogged. The depth of trust required made me feel really safe, turned on and even cared for. Things ended with that friend when she moved abroad. I was still grieving the loss when I matched with Viv on Tinder.
My husband and I (both men in our early 30s) got married very quickly for a variety of reasons. This included but was not limited to: our careers, pissing off his homophobic brother by staging an elaborate proposal at his event, and playing emotional chicken with each other to see if either of us would back down. We didn't, and all of a sudden, I had a husband I had only known for six months. I thought, straight people do it all the time, how hard can it be?
People with limited experience with the kink community often imagine some pretty extreme caricatures when they hear phrases like "BDSM," "Daddy Dom/good girl," and "fisting." It’s inevitable, given that the most easily discovered depictions are pretty extreme.