"And, while straight dudes whose preferences are pretty traditional hardly ever stress over this, the bulk of them will move to the position and pacing that gets them off most efficiently when they're ready to orgasm. So know that you aren't alone. What you can do is refrain from consistently relying on this kink. You say it's really difficult to get off without thinking about it."
"I know orgasm doesn't have to be the point of sex, and I can totally enjoy sex without it, but I feel like this kink is getting in the way! Essentially, my problem boils down to: I'm fine having this kink, I just don't want to rely on it to get off, and don't always want to incorporate it in sex and masturbation."
An individual has a long-standing sexual kink originating in childhood and has relied on that imagery since adolescence to reach orgasm. The kink now interferes with partnered sex and sometimes with solo masturbation when alternative stimuli are absent. Many people require specific fantasies or types of stimulation to climax; others shift position and pacing to reach orgasm without distress. Reducing dependence on the kink by intentionally refraining from always using it can expand sexual options. The person should identify other effective stimuli, practice making those more potent, and experiment with different pacing, positions, or solo techniques to build alternative pathways to orgasm.
Read at Slate Magazine
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