"There are certainly ways to assert your dominance while also having your ass played with. You can employ the same attitude and/or verbal vibe that you do to getting head or having intercourse. You can dirty talk and instruct. You can try face-sitting if your girlfriend is down. Getting your ass played with "feels more submissive" to you likely because assplay has long been considered "gay" within culture, but it certainly doesn't have to be."
"Integrating butt stuff into your sex life with your girlfriend could be a lot of fun, but you should definitely continue to explore on your own to really figure out what you're into and/or want to try. Knowing what you want will make it easier to command it, and will give you ideas on how to incorporate dominance into the anal play you like."
Anal play can be integrated into a dominant sexual role by adopting commanding attitude, verbal instruction, and choices like face-sitting. Dirty talk and explicit directions can maintain dominance while receiving anal stimulation. Cultural assumptions that anal play is inherently submissive or 'gay' are inaccurate; bottoming is not inherently feminine or submissive and can coexist with masculinity and assertiveness. Solo exploration helps clarify preferences, builds confidence, and provides material for directing partnered play. Clear communication about boundaries and desires enables incorporation of dominance into anal activities without compromising established power dynamics.
Read at Slate Magazine
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