"My husband and I (both men in our early 30s) got married very quickly for a variety of reasons. This included but was not limited to: our careers, pissing off his homophobic brother by staging an elaborate proposal at his event, and playing emotional chicken with each other to see if either of us would back down. We didn't, and all of a sudden, I had a husband I had only known for six months. I thought, straight people do it all the time, how hard can it be?"
"I found out about a particular kink of his (maybe even a fetish? I'm not sure how to classify it), and my initial reaction was very negative. I reacted with disgust instead of curiosity, and I shut him down. We fought about it a few times, but eventually reached an uneasy, unspoken agreement to never talk about it again. I know he partakes on his own, but he keeps it very separate from our life together."
A man married his husband quickly after a six-month courtship for career and personal reasons, including provoking a homophobic brother. Early marriage was rocky but later stabilized into mutual love and security. The man discovered a particular sexual kink of his husband and responded with disgust, shutting down conversation. Repeated conflicts led to an uneasy, unspoken pact to avoid the topic, and the husband explores the kink privately, separate from their shared life. The husband now regrets the shutdown and wants to reopen compassionate, nonjudgmental communication to support his partner and better understand that side of him.
Read at Slate Magazine
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