#hypervigilance

#hypervigilance

For most of my life, I asked myself a quiet question: What's wrong with me? I didn't say it out loud. I didn't have to. It was stitched into how I moved through the world - hyperaware, self-correcting, and always just a little out of step. I knew how to "pass" in the right settings, but never without effort. Underneath it all, I was exhausted by the daily performance of normal.

Maureen's reactions make complete sense-both as a child and as an adult, she learned to stay guarded. Being alert likely protected her in harsh settings, and that deserves recognition. But there's also a toll: living in a state of high alert is exhausting. Bracing for criticism, decoding tone and word choice, and anticipating the next betrayal drains us physically and emotionally.