Altering your appearance (and perhaps life) because of a bad experience is giving that size queen way too much power. The first thing I want you to consider instead is therapy. Five inches is typically quoted as average in studies, though a recent meta-study of many studies of penis length found that the average has bumped up to six inches. That means even if you aren't quite average, you're within spitting distance of it.
To experience desire for another person, you must feel sexually confident in yourself. Sexual confidence includes having a positive body image and perceiving yourself as a person who could attract others.