#personal-letters

#personal-letters

Where previous generations experienced anticipation as a natural rhythm of correspondence, we now interpret any delay as rejection, disinterest, or worse. The space that once existed between communications-space that allowed for reflection, longing, and genuine excitement-has been compressed into a continuous stream of micro-interactions that leave us exhausted rather than energized.

I had lost my father just a few weeks prior, and the brain fog was real and persistent, so moments like these that managed to pierce through felt even more profound. As we were setting sail from Lisbon, I ate a pastel de nata, the ubiquitous egg custard tart, with pastry so crisp and flaky I could hear it crackle over the sound of the waves-and it filled me with delight.

There are nights when we lie in your bed, fairy lights glowing above us, the city humming softly outside, and you tell me what has been sitting with you all day. Side by side under your pink quilt, you know I am all yours. It was during one of those nights when you asked me a question I couldn't answer right away.

In a stack of mail on his dining room table, Jason Snape spotted a postcard from his former college professor. In clean, Helvetica type, it read: "If you're reading this I'm dead, and I really liked you." Next to the message was a selfie of Don Glickman wearing a serious expression, a hoodie and yellow aviator sunglasses. There's a hand-sketched portrait of him in the corner.

Running AI infrastructure costs are astronomical. Back in 2023, it was estimated that OpenAI spends around $700,000 per day to run ChatGPT—about 36 cents per query. However, in 2024 with the release of its higher-performing o3 model, some queries cost over $1,000 of computing power. Consequently, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman reports the company is even losing money on its $200 ChatGPT Pro subscriptions.

When we handwrite, especially something as emotionally loaded as a thank-you note, our brains engage in what neuroscientists call "embodied cognition"-the physical act of writing actually shapes how we think and feel about what we're expressing. The people I wrote to started responding differently. Not just polite acknowledgments, but genuine, heartfelt replies that often led to deeper conversations.

Jane Goodall, the late primatologist, was known for her imitations of chimpanzee greetings. When she met with Prince Harry, in 2019, she approached him slowly, making panting noises through circular lips. She prompted him to pat her lightly on the head, then reached up for an embrace, making soft hooting sounds. During her career, Goodall observed chimps engaging in more than a thousand such greetings. They sometimes touched their lips together, breathed into one another's open mouths, or stood on two legs and hugged.

True love is not transactional. If we only love on the expectation of being loved back, then it is not love, it is bartering. Love is unconditional. I love you, and that is all and everything. You do not need to do anything. You do not need to reciprocate. You do not even need to know.

The short answer is yes, unless you take fiction for what it is-fiction. When you long for something you don't have, it can lead to dissatisfaction with what you DO have. Romantic fiction has witty, heartfelt dialogue, buckets of romantic gestures, and protagonists who have a preternatural ability to read each other's minds. It's easy to forget it is not real. This can set up unrealistic expectations both conscious and unconscious.

Sophia Stewart poses a choice that many biographers struggle with: "what to do with the boring bits."