"The short answer is yes, unless you take fiction for what it is-fiction. When you long for something you don't have, it can lead to dissatisfaction with what you DO have. Romantic fiction has witty, heartfelt dialogue, buckets of romantic gestures, and protagonists who have a preternatural ability to read each other's minds. It's easy to forget it is not real. This can set up unrealistic expectations both conscious and unconscious."
"My Aunt Hazel loved herself a good bodice-ripper romance novel. I remember as a child finding-okay, searching for-the dog-eared paperbacks under her bed. Each cover showed a hunky man with flowing hair and a sexy ingénue with fire in her eyes, clasped in a passionate embrace. Of course, despite their many obstacles and between surprisingly explicit bouts of perfect sex-and without any dose of reality whatsoever-the two always lived happily ever after."
Romantic fiction often depicts flawless, passionate relationships filled with grand gestures and effortless emotional attunement. Regular exposure to these idealized scenarios can create conscious and unconscious comparisons that produce dissatisfaction with one's real partner. Comparing a partner to fictional lovers undermines appreciation and can erode interest over time. Actively choosing to disengage from idealized fantasy and to find a partner interesting despite imperfections helps preserve intimacy. Embracing real partners' flaws and reducing fantasy-driven expectations encourages realistic closeness, gratitude, and sustainable relational fulfillment.
Read at Psychology Today
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