"True love is not transactional. If we only love on the expectation of being loved back, then it is not love, it is bartering. Love is unconditional. I love you, and that is all and everything. You do not need to do anything. You do not need to reciprocate. You do not even need to know."
"I'd say the unrequited version is easier to deal with than the semi-requited version. If somebody makes it plain that they don't find you appealing, it's relatively easy to get over, especially if you avoid situations where they're likely to be. Much more difficult, going on my younger days, is when they do see something attractive about you, things go on for a month or whatever and then that attraction, as far as they're concerned, dissipates."
"I think it might have been a French surrealist said I love you. What has that to do with you? Who I love is my problem. Nobdy else, not even the object of my affections, is under any obligation to respond, or even care. You can't always get what you want I know who sang that and it's part of the general proposition that you will have learned from childhood to deal with disappointment, whether it's a Labubu or world peace that you didn't get."
Unrequited love can be accepted by recognizing that love is not transactional and that the beloved has no obligation to reciprocate. Clear knowledge of non-reciprocation makes detachment easier, while partial reciprocation can prolong suffering by raising hopes. Recovery benefits from avoiding triggers and settings that maintain contact, shifting attention toward relationships that offer mutual affection, and practicing self-compassion. Therapy helps when attachment stems from trauma. Time, boundary-setting, and cultivating reciprocal connections reduce longing. Learning to love someone who loves you back can clarify feelings and diminish obsessive attachment to those who do not return affection.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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