The five As, our original needs, are the qualities of a holding environment: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. These five qualities foster secure attachment - both in childhood and in adult relationships. Fortunately, as children, all it takes for safety and security is to have our needs satisfied with good enough parenting. We do not need perfection, nor is it possible.
Researchers have found that mentalization is an undervalued treatment for people in addiction recovery. Mentalization-based treatment helps people reflect upon and redirect urges and impulses. Knowing one's mind, feelings, triggers, and motivations, however conflicted, improves outcomes in work, love, life, and re-creating a life. Better understanding of the inner states and traits of others is also useful. Secure attachment fosters mentalization or a capacity to understand, process, and manage one's inner life.