#parent-child-relationships

#parent-child-relationships

When you have overly-invested parents and a child trying to strike out into the world on their own, conflict is inevitable The fallout of the Beckham family saga has been echoing throughout the entertainment landscape this week - yet family feuds like this can be more common than we might realise, according to leading psychotherapists and counsellors. Rumours of the Beckham family rift have been circulating for a year, but it was officially confirmed by Brooklyn Beckham (26) in an explosive four-page statement on Monday.

Nobody warned me about the awkward phase with parents. For me, it was the period right after college that included landing my first important, non-internship job, taking control of my finances, and eventually moving out. I was a full-fledged adult - by society's standards. At work, I fit the bill. I was patient, poised, and responsible, always communicating respectfully, pulling my own weight, and holding myself accountable for mistakes.

Renate Reinsve, the radiant star of The Worst Person in the World, here plays Nora, an accomplished stage actor whose mother has recently died. As she grieves with her younger sister, Agnes, wonderfully played by Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas, Nora must deal with the return of their long-estranged father, Gustav, played by Stellan Skarsgard. Gustav, a film director of some note, abandoned the family when the girls were still young.

One marker of the spurious issue play-a form the contemporary American theater features in surplus-is that it tends to be populated with puppets. Their inhabitants can, like the horror that is Tilly Norwood, look real, they can be loud or colorful or quirky, but ultimately they plug into a formula - they do what the playwright needs them to do. That's why it's refreshing to come across a play like Preston Max Allen's Caroline, the assured, affecting three-hander.

The first misconception that's worth clearing up is that children were, as they always have been, both loved and cherished by their parents. I've explored this a little bit elsewhere, but it bears repeating. Though there were culturally different ways of showing that love, it was as powerful as it is now. The number of children a couple had didn't reduce the amount of love they had, either.

Walking away from family is never easy; it's rarely The End. If this relationship were between partners we would categorise it, quite correctly, as coercive and abusive.

This connection is biological; your survival depends on it. Even if your parents didn't provide consistent safety or nurturing, the need for their acceptance and approval remains strong.