"Ask your son if the two of you can have a meeting where he shares all of his memories and concerns about your relationship. Ask him to let it all out so that you can hear whatever is on his heart. Do your best not to interrupt him. Clearly, things have occurred that have hurt his feelings. He needs to be able to say them all without backlash from you."
"Apologize for whatever he mentions. Let him know that you never meant to hurt his feelings and that what you did was your way of being his mom and trying to protect him. Admit that you know you aren't perfect and that you are sorry if anything you did whether you continue to think it was justified hurt him. Ask him if he is willing to put the past aside and work to build a new relationship with you now."
Arrange a private meeting in which the son can share memories and concerns about the relationship without interruption. Listen fully and avoid defending or explaining while he speaks. Offer sincere apologies for any actions that hurt him, acknowledging imperfect intentions and protective motives. Admit regret for harm even if the actions once seemed justified. Ask whether he is willing to set the past aside and try building a new relationship in the present. Express love, practice patience, avoid taking over, and focus on becoming a better listener to foster reconnection over time.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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