My parents treated me like a child even after I moved out. I had to redefine my relationship with them.

"Nobody warned me about the awkward phase with parents. For me, it was the period right after college that included landing my first important, non-internship job, taking control of my finances, and eventually moving out. I was a full-fledged adult - by society's standards. At work, I fit the bill. I was patient, poised, and responsible, always communicating respectfully, pulling my own weight, and holding myself accountable for mistakes."

"But with my parents, nothing carried over. The characteristics I championed at work became null the minute I logged off. I cut corners on helping out, had a perpetually short temper, and wore my moods on my sleeve, all while relying on my parents for more than I'd like to admit. My professional self didn't recognize the person I was with my parents. It felt jarring. My at-home persona was stunting my independence, and I knew I had to bridge the gap."

"Like most parents and children, we breezed from phase to phase without stopping to readjust. Looking back, it makes sense that our relationship didn't automatically change after college. We didn't have the foundation for anything different. With my childhood hierarchy still in place, our decades-old dynamic was in full swing. I asked for gas money, my mom yelled about dishes, and my dad stirred the pot. It was the same parent-child relationship we always had, except this time, we were adults."

After college, professional adulthood arrived through a meaningful job, financial control, and moving out, but mature workplace behaviors did not extend to interactions with parents. At home, responsibilities slipped, moods surfaced, and reliance on parents continued, creating a jarring split between public competence and private dependence. The existing childhood hierarchy and unexamined familiarity prevented automatic relationship change, producing patterns like asking for money and parental criticisms. Building a deliberately new relationship with parents, establishing boundaries, and taking responsibility transformed the dynamic, fostered true independence, and unexpectedly created two deep friendships with the parents.

Read at Business Insider