My daughter came home from school the other day, talking about having to go get Valentine's Day cards. Ugh, oh yeah ... that time of year again. I'll need to get my wife a card as well, I suppose. I know how that "I suppose" might sound, but it's not what you think. My wife actually thinks they're a waste of money. The card is more for the kids than anyone.
Many of the parents felt that their way of doing presents wasn't working. Their children were disappointed, overwhelmed, or both. One mother described it this way: "Everybody opened everything all at once. It was chaos. I had a headache." The second topic was relatives: When they came, how long they stayed, and how many presents they gave. One mother with three small children had tried to control the overwhelm by having everyone come to her house instead of having to travel. That too was chaos.
I go into Christmas every year with low expectations for my husband's side of the family. They are notoriously bad gift givers, so I just go into it with the knowledge that the gifts don't matter, it's about our time together as a family.
I have a friend from childhood who is a wealthy, narcissistic hoarder. This means she spends all her time buying needless crap from the bargain bins of every box store you can imagine. For example, she'll buy several blenders just because they are on sale, not because she needs one. Her house is filled with this junk. I have politely mentioned therapy, but that just gets radio silence.
No, I don't want a candle that smells like turkey, because, well, we'll be cooking turkey. Nor do I want a sunrise alarm clock that mimics natural light, because I can leave the curtains open. And I definitely don't want a salmon DNA pink collagen jelly mask (Good Housekeeping's Best for Beauty Lovers), because said DNA comes from milt. AKA semen. If I wanted fish sperm on my face, I would tickle some pollocks.
During the 2025 run of his Las Vegas residency, Usher became known for a particular bit. Wrapped in a furry overcoat, the singer would descend from the stage with a glass full of ruby red maraschino cherries. He would then hand-feed the fruit to select members of the audience. It's a flirty, cheeky gesture that spawned numerous viral videos. But it also hints at something essential, but little-known, about Usher: He knows how to give a good gift.
Long before shopping carts and overnight shipping, gifts were objects that carried time inside them, things made by hand, chosen with care, and often meant to last. Art and antiques still occupy that territory. They are not efficient gifts. They are not interchangeable. That is why they endure. To give art or an antique is to provide more than an object. It is to offer a story, an aesthetic judgment, and a piece of one's own attention.
As a divorced mom, one of the hardest parts of the holidays is facing Christmas morning knowing that I will not have presents under the tree unless I buy them and wrap them for myself. And as my kids get older, they've started to notice that I'm not unwrapping much on Christmas morning. But while they're old enough to want to shop for me, they're not old enough to go out and do it by themselves.
I made the mistake of jokingly telling her to 'leave it with me' and since then she has brought it up repeatedly I normally pride myself on gift-giving in my relationship. In all of the Christmases and birthdays my girlfriend and I have spent together, she has always said that the presents I give her are ones she loves the most.
The manager curtly pointed out that everyone there had specifically asked to work that day, and I realized that most of the employees either needed the paycheck (hourly workers aren't typically paid for national holidays if they don't work) or wanted to escape their various home situations. I left the coffee shop thoroughly embarrassed about my entitled assumption that everyone would want the day off and should be given the day off without having a say in the matter.
For many years I was also on the receiving end of gifts that were lovingly wrapped and gifted. I understand that for many people the best part of Christmas is to send a beautifully wrapped and thoughtful gift. I've discovered that when people ask, What do you want? or I need a list for you/your family, it's coming from a place of love, not to terrorize you.
Gift Giving. Your staff works hard. Don't rely solely on your firm to provide holiday gifts. Get your legal assistant and paralegal a gift to show you appreciate them. Beyond your staff, give gifts to anyone else who has made your job easier this year. Holiday Cards. If your firm still provides its lawyers with holiday cards, secure some and send them out. If not, purchase a box or two of holiday cards and send them to colleagues and friends. And please, no e-cards.
Is Donald Trump a gay man? I can't think of anything that screams "closeted gay" louder than building a golden ballroom. Donald Trump has been married to three different women (two of whom were immigrants), he's been credibly accused of sexual harassment and assault by dozens of women, and he was found liable - by a jury of his peers - for sexually abusing E. Jean Carroll.
My late mother made a special Christmas cookie that required tedious decorating, considering each person's personal preference for toppings, and giving them as gifts to family and friends. They always had a place of honor on our family Christmas table. When she was no longer able, she gave me the cookie cutter, and my daughters and I took over the family tradition. It takes the three of us several days to make, bake, decorate, package and mail cookies to family members around the country.
If you're stumped on what to buy the man in your life, a contribution to his wardrobe will never go amiss. Stylish men will always appreciate pieces that compliment what they already have hanging, while those less sartorially minded will be thankful for some guidance. After all, every man needs clothes, and this is your opportunity to play dress up.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my mother passed away some years ago, my brother and his wife placed a stuffed black cat toy in her casket. My mother had owned several black cats. Months later, I was opening a Christmas gift from my brother. It turned out to be a stuffed black cat. He said, Do you know where that came from? Of course I knew! My mouth dropped open. Miss Manners, was this absolutely the worst Christmas gift ever, or am I missing something?
Something I unabashedly love about myself is that I am a great gift giver. I've given friends unique jewelry pieces that wind up in their daily rotation, surprised my parents with sweet birthday treats that fit within their diet, and once gifted my fiancé's brother-in-law (a guy I barely knew) with coffee beans so good he still orders them to this day. I guess you could say this talent is just my gift in life.
Our late uncle was a pilot, and he had a tradition where he would pick up little local candies and bring them back for all the cousins. There were 15 of us, so it was always just small treats. But it's a cherished memory. I started a career that lets me travel, so I have picked up the tradition of bringing small regional sweets whenever I see my nieces and nephews.
