DEAR HARRIETTE: I got married recently, and while the day was beautiful overall, a few unexpected guests showed up actual wedding crashers! At first, I thought maybe they were distant friends of my husband's, but it became obvious they didn't know anyone. They ate, drank and even joined us on the dance floor like they belonged there. By the time we realized what was happening, they had already helped themselves to food, drinks and favors meant for our guests.
My mother asks me why I care if people want to make fools of themselves, and why I can't just be nice and celebrate with my friends. The answer is because I'm expected to go along with this farce and play the Wedding Guest: dressing up, sitting through it all, congratulating them, and here's the main part spending serious money to buy them something from their registry list.
My son "Emmett" is 29 years old and getting married towards the end of the year. His girlfriend, "Leila," is a lovely woman, and I do wish them happiness. But I also don't want to go to the wedding. Over the years, I've become firmly convinced that marriage is an inherently unfair practice that subjugates women to men, and that we would be far better off if we dropped it in the ashbin of history alongside other revolting concepts like slavery and child sacrifice.
I had a son with my first wife and two daughters with my second wife. My daughters have met my new wife, but my son (who lives overseas) has not. Nor has he met either of my wife's children, both of whom are adults. My son is getting married later this year. He has invited my wife and I to the wedding but has not invited my wife's children.
Over a decade ago, I started my business, Bridesmaid for Hire, as a way to support people during the stressful and exciting moments of their wedding. A lot of my clients have other people in their bridal party, so it's my job to help everyone else do what they're supposed to without any of the drama, headaches, or arguments that often occur.
You are not obligated to invite this couple to your wedding. Write them a sweet note explaining that you are sorry you won't be able to attend because you will be on your honeymoon at that time.
