My former life as a lawyer required accounting for time in six-minute increments, sometimes confronting the fact that I'd derailed and taken way too long to research something that turned out to be the wrong question. Something similar happened here when I looked up and realized I'd lost 30 minutes scouring wedding related message boards to figure out how one would obtain a suit in his exact size without paying for it.
At the time, my gut feeling was that he felt awkward inviting me and his aunt when his parents weren't included. In the past, I have sent Ethan a check on his birthday and at Christmas and helped him financially with vehicle repairs. Although I was not invited, I sent a congratulatory card for the wedding, with a significant check enclosed. He cashed the check but did not acknowledge receipt of the card.
Between travel, accommodation, clothing, and gifts, I spent several thousand dollars. Initially, I was happy to do it. But now I'm not so sure. At the reception, each guest received a heartfelt, handwritten letter from the couple. It was a beautiful gesture. However, I found out later that the letters were also in lieu of thank you cards. Am I wrong to feel like attending a destination wedding and giving an expensive gift should also warrant a thank you card in the mail?
DEAR HARRIETTE: I got married recently, and while the day was beautiful overall, a few unexpected guests showed up actual wedding crashers! At first, I thought maybe they were distant friends of my husband's, but it became obvious they didn't know anyone. They ate, drank and even joined us on the dance floor like they belonged there. By the time we realized what was happening, they had already helped themselves to food, drinks and favors meant for our guests.
My mother asks me why I care if people want to make fools of themselves, and why I can't just be nice and celebrate with my friends. The answer is because I'm expected to go along with this farce and play the Wedding Guest: dressing up, sitting through it all, congratulating them, and here's the main part spending serious money to buy them something from their registry list.
My son "Emmett" is 29 years old and getting married towards the end of the year. His girlfriend, "Leila," is a lovely woman, and I do wish them happiness. But I also don't want to go to the wedding. Over the years, I've become firmly convinced that marriage is an inherently unfair practice that subjugates women to men, and that we would be far better off if we dropped it in the ashbin of history alongside other revolting concepts like slavery and child sacrifice.
I had a son with my first wife and two daughters with my second wife. My daughters have met my new wife, but my son (who lives overseas) has not. Nor has he met either of my wife's children, both of whom are adults. My son is getting married later this year. He has invited my wife and I to the wedding but has not invited my wife's children.
Over a decade ago, I started my business, Bridesmaid for Hire, as a way to support people during the stressful and exciting moments of their wedding. A lot of my clients have other people in their bridal party, so it's my job to help everyone else do what they're supposed to without any of the drama, headaches, or arguments that often occur.
You are not obligated to invite this couple to your wedding. Write them a sweet note explaining that you are sorry you won't be able to attend because you will be on your honeymoon at that time.
