The first thing the interviewer asked me was, "Why the name Running on Empty? Where did that come from?" To be honest, I was somewhat unprepared for this question, and I stumbled a bit. The only answer I could think of at first was: "Because that's what childhood emotional neglect makes you feel." It made such intuitive sense to me that I had never even thought about how to explain it.
Perhaps you have moments when you hesitate to share how you really feel, or you find yourself questioning whether what you have is genuine intimacy or just a peaceful routine. These are common questions, especially if you grew up in a family where emotions were ignored, dismissed, or handled inconsistently ( childhood emotional neglect). When your early environment teaches you to stay quiet about your feelings, you become skilled at functioning without emotional connection.
Have you ever noticed something change after a glass of wine or a cocktail? Maybe you or your partner suddenly become more talkative, affectionate, or emotionally open. It might feel like a wall has come down. For a little while, everything feels easier. More connected. More loving. Then the next morning, it's gone. If this feels familiar, there's a good reason. Alcohol can temporarily unlock emotions that feel stuck or out of reach.
Emotional validation happens when your parents see what you are feeling, acknowledge your feelings, and seem to understand why you are having them. Just like adults, children's feelings are the deepest, most personal, biological expression of who they are. In order to feel seen, understood, and heard, a child must feel that their feelings are seen, understood, and heard. What happens when you feel seen, understood, and heard as a child?