Is Childhood Emotional Neglect Making You Feel Numb Inside?

"A remarkable number of very different people tried to express a particular burden to me-a burden they had carried through their lives and felt deeply, but never had the words to express. These folks were not damaged, traumatized, or mentally ill. There was no diagnosis to capture their struggle. And they weren't actually different, or empty, or alone, but they felt this way for a reason."

"The cause of this burdensome feeling, I concluded, was the one life experience all these varied people shared: They had all grown up with their feelings ignored-what I call childhood emotional neglect. As children, they had all learned that their emotions were not accepted in their childhood homes. As children, they all had, out of necessity, walled off their feelings, which flew under the radar in their childhood homes. Now, as adults, they were emotionally numb."

A psychologist observed a recurring pattern among diverse clients from different backgrounds and professions. Despite their varied circumstances, many expressed a common, deeply felt burden they struggled to articulate. These individuals were not mentally ill or traumatized in traditional ways, yet experienced profound emotional disconnection. After two years of research, the psychologist identified the shared root cause: childhood emotional neglect. In their formative years, these clients learned their emotions were not accepted or valued in their homes. Consequently, they developed emotional walls as a survival mechanism, resulting in adult emotional numbness. This discovery revealed that a specific life experience—having feelings consistently ignored during childhood—created lasting emotional consequences that persisted into adulthood.

Read at Psychology Today