"Growing up with your emotions disregarded automatically communicates a silent, but powerfully effective, message to your deepest self: As a child, you accept, on a very deep level, that in your childhood home, your feelings do not matter. As a child, you must wall off your own emotions so that you will never appear sad, hurt, needy, or emotional to your parents."
"I have seen the pattern play out in the lives of countless people who seem otherwise healthy and fine. Always the same silent struggles, the same unanswered questions, the same deep sense of being different from everyone else. When you grow up with childhood emotional neglect, you end up experiencing the worst of two worlds. First, you are disconnected from your feelings, which should be stimulating and guiding you. You are living without enough access to this marvelous, powerful, energizing feedback system: your emotions."
Childhood emotional neglect occurs when parents fail to notice or respond to a child’s feelings, creating a subtle but lasting message that feelings do not matter. Children learn to wall off emotions to avoid appearing needy, sad, or vulnerable. Adults who experienced emotional neglect often lack access to their emotions as guiding, energizing feedback and simultaneously hold unattended, roiling feelings. Those blocked emotions can emerge unpredictably or remain suppressed while influencing decisions and behavior. The result is recurring silent struggles, unanswered questions, and a pervasive sense of being different despite outward normalcy.
Read at Psychology Today
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