One Reason You May Feel "On the Outside"

""I often feel like I'm on the outside, looking in." "Whoever I'm with, I don't feel I fit in." "When I'm with other people, I may look fine, but I don't feel fine." The first item on my Emotional Neglect Questionnaire is: - Do you sometimes feel like you don't belong when you are with family or friends? I put that question first in the questionnaire on purpose."

"It is a difficult to identify, difficult to name feeling; yet it can hold tremendous power over a person. It can make it hard to go to a social gathering, and difficult to stay very long. Perhaps you get irritable when you're around other people and you're not sure why. Perhaps you're good at putting on a show to look like you're having fun, but only you know that, actually, you are not."

Many people who experienced childhood emotional neglect carry a persistent sense of not belonging, even among family and friends. Suppressed emotional needs in childhood can lead to feeling on the outside, looking in, and cause difficulty enjoying social gatherings or staying engaged. People may appear fine externally while feeling disconnected internally, becoming irritable or pretending to have fun. The feeling is hard to name yet exerts strong influence over social behavior. Recognizing the link between early emotional neglect and current disconnection enables gradual emotional reconnection. Increasing awareness and responding to inner emotional needs can weaken the pervasive sense of being out of place.

Read at Psychology Today