After I stopped breastfeeding, I was happier. My anxiety lessened because I knew she was getting enough to eat. After each formula feed, Lily would fall asleep on my chest. I'd pat the milk off her chin with a burp cloth as she faintly snored. I wished I could match her peace, but I couldn't shake the want to escape.
The birth of a child comes with a swirl of positive emotions: awe, joy, relief. And yet, for many birthing parents, this postpartum period can also be accompanied by monthsor even yearsof debilitating depression. For some of these parents, traditional antidepressant meds like sertraline, better known as Zoloft, and fluoxetine, aka Prozac, have provided some relief. But many with postpartum depression have had little recourse.
I am very happy to be the mom of one child and don't want another. My labor and recovery was very difficult. I struggled with postpartum depression, and the first four months of her life were basically hell for me. Things have improved. But, as much as I love my daughter, parenting is still quite challenging, stressful, and boring for me.
When her husband Jackson (Robert Pattinson) moves them out of New York City into his childhood home in rural Montana, she takes the big change in stride. It's a bit of a mess, with old pieces of furniture strewn about, and leaves and dust coating the floor, but she's not opposed to a fixer upper. There's a bit of a rat problem, but they can get a cat, she suggests.
Something for nearly everyone at cinemas this weekend: A boxing biopic, an epic set in the Pacific Northwest, a new Predator flick and an anguishing postpartum story. Also quieter titles: a recreation of a 1970s interview with a celebrated New York art scene photographer, and a father-daughter drama from the filmmaker behind the 2022 standout The Worst Person in the World.
"When we give birth, we're like, wow, the emotions, the hormones, everything," she said. "You realize that you need a strong support system with you. You need help. You need people to love on you and make sure that you're okay."
I was hunched over the kitchen table, tracking ounces on a laminated chart with a dry-erase marker, crying so hard I couldn't see the numbers. It was 2:40 a.m. My nipples were bleeding. Lily was screaming. And the book said she should be sleeping. "Stretch feeds to four hours," it said. "Teach her to self-soothe." So I shushed. I swaddled. I walked in circles around our dark apartment, whispering affirmations I didn't believe.
A recent French study found that a specific species of bacteria can improve maternal behavior in stressed rat mothers. The researchers stressed the rats by putting them in the rat equivalent of a crowded subway car. The stressed rat moms neglected their newborns. But when the scientists put Lactobacillus reuteri into their water, normal maternal behavior was restored.